Episode 298: Frustrated Pursuers–The Pain of Rejection

We always talk about sexual Pursuers and Withdrawers—those who seek sex and those who withdraw from it. In this episode, we focus on the frustration and pain of rejection for Pursuers.

Because sexual Pursuers are usually the sexual initiator, they are often facing the pain of rejection. Over time they become anxious about initiating. For Pursuers, rejection goes beyond being told “no” when they make a sexual advance. Rejection also happens when they perceive or assume rejection. It may seem unfair but it feels true to the sexual Pursuer.

Pursuers are prone to stories from others, past experience, and ideas they tell themselves about what they will happen if they ask for sex. The feelings created by potentially false assumptions are as real as the sting of actual rejection and can leave a pit in their stomach.

Couples (Withdrawers and Pursuers) usually have opposite protective strategies which can create psychological, sexual tension and frustration from the negative cycle.

How can Withdrawers seek to understand and help their frustrated sexual Pursuer? We’re breaking down 5 ways Withdrawers can protect their partner from rejection!