You are currently viewing Episode 233: She Only Wants Sex to Keep Him Happy

Episode 233: She Only Wants Sex to Keep Him Happy

Join us for a sample conversation with “Eleanor” who is always anxious about sex, preoccupied with whether or not she is pleasing her husband, but unable to be present for her own experience. She doesn’t want to risk hurting her husband even if it would make the sexual moment better for her. Her husband thinks she’s not into it, but hear how she worries and actually thinks about it constantly without ever knowing if her husband is happy with her. We have heard hundreds of similar stories about the disconnects that can happen in sexual relationship. We invite you to consider opening up a discussion with your lover about their experience in sex.

Help support us by checking out our sponsor Uberlube. Uberlube has great lubricants! Go to and use the coupon code ‘Foreplay’ to get savings!


Announcer 00:00
The following content is not suitable for children.

Laurie Watson 00:02
Today we’re going to talk about a woman who really only wants to make him happy. Welcome to foreplay radio couples in sex therapy. I’m Laurie Watson, your sex therapist.

George Faller 00:15
And I’m George Faller, a couples therapist,

Laurie Watson 00:17
and we are passionate about talking about sex and helping you develop a way to talk to each other.

George Faller 00:23
Our mission is to help our audience develop a healthier relationship to sex that integrates the mind, the heart and the body.

Laurie Watson 00:32
Just as we began, please remember to check out Uber lube it really calm is where you can get this great lubricant and help support foreplay radio. This woman that we’re talking about George is really such a typical patient, somebody who is not in touch with her own sexuality particularly, but is oriented toward making her partner happy and she’s anxiously attached but I want to demonstrate and asked To demonstrate kind of what it’s like for her, of course, we’re continuing our assessment theme and helping therapists. But we also want to help people who might be married to this type of woman who is kind of preoccupied with not her own experience, and not what she gets out of it either emotionally or physically. But just making sure that he’s okay. And how she puts away her own fears and her own worries, we’re also going to see how she doesn’t want to risk hurting her partner. And that’s part of the reason that she keeps her own counsel in terms of what she thinks would make the bedroom experience better,

George Faller 01:42
right? We want to really get a flavor for not only mechanically how things work, but how do people emotionally come closer or protect themselves? So these are some of these questions that we’re going to ask and we invite you all to just think about your own relationship and see what questions really resonate. In which ones are difficult? When we don’t have answers? that usually means that’s an area we haven’t explored that much. So if you don’t have an answer to some of these questions, you’re right where you’re supposed to be.

Laurie Watson 02:11
Okay. So I’m ready. I’m going to be Eleanor.

George Faller 02:16
Eleanor, Eleanor. How old? Are you, Eleanor?

Laurie Watson 02:20
I will be 4444.

George Faller 02:24
And do you have children? I have three children, three children. And how long are you married? Elena?

Laurie Watson 02:32
We have been married 22 years.

George Faller 02:36
So Elena, I just so happy to be meet with you today. And this is a chance for us to just hang out together. I’m going to ask you questions, not expect any answers. But really the goal today is just to figure out like, How comfortable are you emotionally with your relationship both sexually and emotionally? How safe do you feel, you know, we just want to kind of Get a snapshot of picture and identify any areas that we might improve that just would give you more. Just get more out of your relationship.

Laurie Watson 03:08
Okay, um, so my husband wanted me to do this. I just gotta say, I’ve never been to a therapist before. feels really weird.

George Faller 03:15
Again, I appreciate you starting off with that. And, you know, this is weird because most of us don’t talk about these things. Right? So you’re coming in and you’re saying this is my husband wants this so I’m honoring him. But this you’re letting me know that this is this is an area that makes you feel uncomfortable. So thank you for that. Okay, so with any of these questions, if you don’t want to answer the question, you could just move on to the next one. And like I said, I just these are standard questions just to give me that a picture of how to best help you.

Laurie Watson 03:42
So I get a pass if I if I need to.

George Faller 03:44
Absolutely, yeah. Okay. I want you to have fun here. I want you to kind of understand yourself and if if something doesn’t feel so comfortable, that’s really important for me to know.

Laurie Watson 03:54
Okay, this is definitely not fun. So just for the record,

George Faller 03:58
hi, yeah, I’m write it down. So here we go, Ellen. Oh, you’re ready. Yes. I see your regular your hands there I am. I am. Alright. So do you feel close and emotionally connected when you make love with your husband?

Laurie Watson 04:13
Um, gosh, I don’t know that I’ve ever thought about that. I, I think I feel close and emotionally connected. I think I feel close and emotionally connected. Sometimes when we’re spending time together sexually when we’re in bed. No, I don’t. I don’t honestly, I don’t

George Faller 04:42
not like starting off with a heavy question right out of the gate. Right. I just saw appreciate you just just trying to explore that with yourself. That there are other parts during the day where you feel more closely connected in conversations but when it comes actually the act itself of making love you don’t feel emotionally connected. Mm hmm. Okay. So pause here as a therapist, this is again, really good information, just helping us get a doorway into, you know what makes her feel safe and unsafe. Right. So that’s part of what I’d want to explore. Like, where does she go if she’s not feeling so connected

Laurie Watson 05:20
right now? That’s a great questions. All right, question next.

George Faller 05:24
So Eleanor, how about hugging, kissing? cuddling, affection? I mean, do you do that before after sex? Is that enjoyable?

Laurie Watson 05:32
I like to do that. I like that a lot. Probably after sex. My husband usually falls asleep. And I like I like affection. He’s not his. He’s usually not affectionate unless he wants to have sex. And I know that about him. It doesn’t. I would, I would like more of it, I suppose.

George Faller 05:54
So Elena, when you say you don’t feel so connected to insects. Where do you go?

Laurie Watson 06:03
Hmm, I think I don’t feel comfortable during sex. Because I’m not sure I’m making him happy. Really? I know it makes them happy to have an orgasm. Sure. But he never really expresses to me like that he thinks I’m attractive or beautiful or that I’ve done a good job or that I don’t know. I mean, all I hear I hear a lot of complaints that it’s not enough. But then when we have sex, I I really don’t get many of the anyhow happiness from him or a sense that he satisfied. So I guess what I’m waiting, I just am anxious the whole time. You know?

George Faller 06:45
So when you say anxious, you’re kind of in your head just thinking about is this working for him? Is he got those wheels spinning?

Laurie Watson 06:54
Yeah, it’s like how do I get them there and and then, afterwards, I kind of feel sort of Add an empty because I don’t know if it was enough for him.

George Faller 07:04
Well, I get I appreciate you sharing this is it’s a tough spot for you. You’re you’re not so focused on your body or what’s happening because you really love him so much. You want him to experience success and pleasure? And you’re not sure. And there’s an emptiness as you even afterwards you’re not sure, hey, if he would tell you that was the best day of my life. That was amazing. I mean, you’d get some direct feedback, but if he when he falls asleep, that leaves you like, I went through this whole process. I hope that was good, but I’m not really sure how that was.

Laurie Watson 07:36
Exactly. And then when he says, like, a few days later, you know, we don’t have enough sex again. It was like I just, again, it’s just I feel so anxious about the whole thing. It Yeah, I mean, I’m not really Yeah, I just Yeah, no, you’re during and after I feel anxious.

George Faller 07:56
Wow. That again, that’s so important to anybody. They can just choose from Feel That Way, right? It’s not just the anxiety in the moment of having sex. It’s like beforehand, you’re not sure how long it’s gonna be before he’s critical or not happy. And then during it, you’re thinking so much, and then afterwards, you’re not sure how good it was. It’s like, it takes up a lot of space inside you.

Laurie Watson 08:16
It does it does. I, he thinks I don’t think about it, but I think about it all the time.

George Faller 08:22
All right, let’s pause here again, there’s a goldmine of information. Yeah. So often, it seems like the person who has lower desire or doesn’t initiate sex as much doesn’t think about it, then this is a real good window into how much Elena actually does think about sex. You know, is it going to be the third day? Is it going to be the fourth day? Is he going to be happy? It’s not going to be happy afterwards. I mean, it’s just the racing brain is a real good indicator of the amount of energy that’s kind of being focused where these two people are missing each other.

Laurie Watson 08:54
Yeah, and I would say she’s, I mean, I can like feel her. You know, she’s not necessary. Sally thinking about what they can do. That’s exciting in bed next. She’s, she’s worried. So she’s preoccupied. I’m not pleasing my husband. She’s watching and waiting for his response. She’s very tuned into him, which for me, when I see a woman who kind of is anxiously attached, but she’s, what I would say is not necessarily tuned in sexually. This is good news as a sex therapist, because I can, I can usually turn her anxiety in a way that becomes directed. And then he, I imagine he’s anxious to in some ways or something’s going on with him. So if I can get her energy about this her preoccupation, to be slightly more nuanced about perhaps pleasure and eroticism, then we’re on it. It’s easy to do.

George Faller 09:53
Okay, so let’s see. Yeah, Eleanor, this next question. I probably wouldn’t ask that. This now right? Does she feel comfortable with general tacho stimulation, just as she’s exploring her anxiety and going into her emotions? Right. So I’m going to go right to that. Do you, Eleanor? Do you get caught up? looking at things from outside the moment as your kind of mind is racing and you’re worried about performance? Do you kind of worry about Does your husband find you attractive?

Laurie Watson 10:25
Oh, yeah. I mean, I absolutely. I mean, I don’t know if he finds me attractive. I know, he looks at porn. And that makes me feel bad. Like, a couple of reasons. I suppose he’s looking at porn. I tell myself because I’m not enough for him, or I’m not giving it to him enough. And then he’s looking at all these women who are amazing. And I think this poor guy has to be in bed with me.

George Faller 10:52
Well, and you’re actually taking this journey act of lovemaking

Laurie Watson 10:58
and before the act of lovemaking. After

George Faller 11:00
the like, I’m glad you could laugh about it because it shows how much energy this this takes inside of you.

Laurie Watson 11:10
It dies. And he thinks I don’t care about him, which it’s like I, I would do anything to make him happy.

George Faller 11:19
Right? And do you find sometimes like having a glass of wine or, you know, does anything help relax you and make his sex more of an enjoyable experience?

Laurie Watson 11:31
Well, I wouldn’t say that it’s not enjoyable. I enjoy being close to him, actually.

George Faller 11:36
Yeah, he does. Correct me.

Laurie Watson 11:39
Yeah, he doesn’t believe that. It’s like, if I don’t have an orgasm, it’s the end of the world. You know, and then he’s always after me. No, no, no, you should too. And it’s like, gosh, I just, and that just makes it worse. You know, it makes it worse because then I’m so pressured. And it’s like we’re out of sync. We’re just out of sync. It’s like, he can’t He can’t be with me. And does this wine help? Yeah. Wine helps. Wine helps. Yes.

George Faller 12:11
Yeah, I love the Curiosity is you’re just trying to lean into these areas normally don’t want to talk about. But if you’re so worried about does he want me and is this going to work? Well, then he’s worried about are you going to org and there’s just a lot of worrying going on there and having a glass of wine seems to take a little bit at edge off, make it a little bit easy a few to kind of get started.

Laurie Watson 12:33
All right. Well, I think yeah, I mean, now that you mentioned it, the Getting Started part is the hard part. Because oftentimes, it’s like he comes in and he’s all ready to go and, you know, still have the kids to get down and get their homework done and all that and, and then it’s like, I mean, it’s nice way comes in, and he says that I that kind of feels reassuring, but then by the time Two hours later, it’s time to go to bed. I’m anxious again.

George Faller 13:03
Yeah, yeah. I so appreciate even as you said that to me when you corrected me You say, Wait, I do enjoy this. This isn’t right that there is a big part of you once you are able to calm down and just kind of let yourself go a little bit, but that’s as enjoyable for you too, that you able to kind of stand up for that I think is so important. So thank you for that. And this is a good spot to take a quick break.

Laurie Watson 13:31
This woman that we’re talking about George definitely needs Uber lube. She needs a lot of things to really enjoy sex and they need a lot of things right. But I think Uber lube you know, you said wine, I say a lubricant because many times if a woman isn’t excited right in the beginning, a lubricant can really help her enjoy touch right at the beginning and we were live you can get it on Uber live calm with the coupon for You get a discount, and it is scent free. It feels good. It feels silky and soft. It is my favorite lubricant all time. And they come in travel sizes like in little glass bottles that are beautiful. It has high grade silicone, a little bit of vitamin E. Women always asked me, is this gonna, you know, give me a yeast infection? Or is it gonna be a problem? No, this is great. It doesn’t impact your pH it doesn’t impact your hormones. It won’t cause an allergic reaction. I used to recommend another one that did cause allergies. So this is great. And it’s recommended by thousands of doctors all over the United States. It’s made here in the United States and Lord knows we need work right now in the USA. So I would highly recommend it. Let’s not

George Faller 14:46
limit this just to the females out there. Now that a little a little Uber lube for the men, not too bad,

Laurie Watson 14:55
not too bad in it. It helps when a woman’s touching a man as well. It’s a great feel so Definitely for that as well. And I appreciate you bringing that up. It really did calm with the coupon foreplay. Thanks, y’all. George, you’ve got this whole new website that’s coming up with training materials and stuff. Tell me about it.

George Faller 15:13
It’s called success in Similar to what we’ve been talking about in the podcast, I’m really trying to train therapists on how to keep their focus in session. And two, if you’re going to invite couples and clients and families to risk doing countability, then it’s really critical that they have success when they do it. The reason why people don’t do vulnerability is it doesn’t work out so well for them when they do. So we really want to empower therapists to, to know what to do in these critical moments to kind of usher in the transformation that could happen when people go to these vulnerable spots. So

Laurie Watson 15:52
therapists who listened to us can go ahead and check it out. And you’ll be doing trainings and all sorts of things and you have a team of people Success in vulnerability comm I’m excited about it. I get to learn a bunch more from George,

George Faller 16:07
one of the blessings of COVID-19 I never had time, but we can get creative when we’re locked in a house and come up with some new endeavors. So I’m looking forward to it and I appreciate any feedback and support.

Laurie Watson 16:21
I’m really enjoying being Eleanor. Unfortunately, I like my acting abilities. I’m like starting to feel her and all her anxiety about this. I will say you’re making it comfortable for me that as a woman talking to a man, I do feel bad about that. It’s like the way you say things the way you phrase things. Well, I’m also

George Faller 16:42
being impacted by Elena’s story right and I can see kind of this anxiety how it’s getting in the way and then how she’s blamed for the anxiety made. It’s a tough spot that she’s in and I want her to be able to talk about her anxiety and feel like it’s it’s being honored instead of shaming. Harford or just focus it on fixing it’s so quick that you know we missed the person and gathering the information. So we’re gonna go back and just ask a couple more questions again, everyone as we’re listening just see what questions resonates in you know, do you have answers? Do you not have answers? Let’s This is our laboratory and words are the instruments that we’re using. So, Eleanor

Laurie Watson 17:23

George Faller 17:24
yes. therapist. Do you ever get angry when your partner around sex? Can you express your frustrations and, you know, things that are not working so well?

Laurie Watson 17:36
I get angry when he brings it up all the time. And yeah, sometimes I just get exasperated by him. Yeah, like gosh, he’s like a one track mind and, and I just think I want to get angry about is first of all, I don’t know if he’s happy. He doesn’t let me know. And he also doesn’t really let me know if the other thing In our life, our good life like I’m raising the kids, I go to work. I keep a neat house, that would not be me. And it’s like, all this stuff and he, he never really makes any comments about it. So I I just then then when he harps on sex, yeah, I get mad. Sometimes I get really mad. Yeah, I pushed back.

George Faller 18:19
Because I put your anger it usually comes before having sex.

Laurie Watson 18:24
Hmm. Okay. I’m not mad particularly about what happens in bad I that’s fine.

George Faller 18:30
Right. Well, do you find yourself being able to be critical or give feedback or anything during lovemaking?

Laurie Watson 18:39
I’m pretty quiet. I I don’t say much. I know. I don’t think I give any feedback. I mean, he’s kind of he kind of knows but I guess he knows.

George Faller 18:51
So you, you won’t talk about kind of that anxious feeling or that empty feeling or kind of what’s happening for you. You just you’re so focused on hoping he He’s having a good experience that you wind up not sharing.

Laurie Watson 19:04
Definitely wind up not sharing. Yeah, right. I don’t think I share that. I

George Faller 19:09
think that’s a beautiful thing that you’re trying to do. Eleanor, right you’re trying to use it’s so important that he enjoys the experience, there’s really not a lot of room for you to talk about negative things that might weigh him down. So you try to protect him from that by keeping that to yourself.

Laurie Watson 19:24
Yeah, I mean, I’m not that critical of him. And bad. I I’m not that critical. It’s more. I mean, can we do things that would be a little bit better for me? Yeah, we probably really could. I, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t want to say I did say some things like I remember right in the beginning of our sexual experience together. And I told him a couple things. And he acted like it. I don’t know, he got upset and it wasn’t, he got he got more angry, but it seemed like it hurt his feelings that somehow or another he thought he should know all that. And then from that point forward, I just thought, Oh, you know, he has kind of this fragile ego and I don’t want to hurt him. So I just, I just Yeah, I don’t really say anything. Mm

George Faller 20:11
hmm. Yeah, that must be a tough spot when it feels like your husband’s free to share things you’re not doing well are not enough of, but you don’t want to kind of let him know because you don’t want to hurt his feelings and make things worse.

Laurie Watson 20:24
Right as I don’t want to hurt his feelings. And yes, so I would like to just take a break for a minute as a sex therapist, as I listen to Eleanor. I feel so sad for her right. she lacks so much agency about directing this experience and, you know, we really still have no idea. Is it good for her and could it be good for her and is that one of the elements that is missing? That would make her desire more sex? Maybe, you know, could we help her find a way to sort of take more ownership of this because it’s not just him getting frustrated with her, but it’s also her sense of, it’s like she doesn’t own this experience. It’s she’s all about him, which is beautiful and fine. But it’s not necessarily fine for sustained intimacy between the two of them.

George Faller 21:18
Right? And I would I think most sex therapists, unfortunately, with good intentions want to push to have her take more ownership. But it’s really hard to take ownership when you have high degrees of anxiety. But it’s it’s your longings get squished when fear is running the show up. So we have to reduce the anxiety before we’re going to start exploring. And if I start trying to lean too much into a What about you and what makes you happy? What turns you on in a way that’s putting more pressure and so the timings really, really matters for when you’re going to go for that,

Laurie Watson 21:54
right. You’re absolutely right George

George Faller 21:57
and I would find myself wanting because this is my The emotional exploration. Right. So once you said as Eleanor, he can feel a bit insecure. And I don’t want to make that worse. Right? So there really isn’t a lot of space to talk about that. But in that individual session is where I want to lean into that fear. Well, what would happen if you made him insecure? And that only grew inside of him? Like, what are these big fears that are really, you know, would he find somebody else would he not want her which, you know, they get divorce with the family break up? I mean, these are some big fears that are lurking, you know, in the bedroom. Yeah. Right. So I find myself wanting to kind of explore that. Now, I agree with you. And I’m not saying you should change directions as the therapist. I’m just reacting to her like what I feel when I listen to her and what I feel as a woman. I guess that’s it. I love that question now, and that’s such a great EFT question of what would happen if you did direct him what what what are you afraid would happen? I I think you could ask her Right now I think she’s connected enough with you It breaks my heart to see and how many how many partners have I worked with where it’s been a very similar dynamics where when you’re feeling empty and you’re so scared that your partner is not going to be happy with you that’s not a great environment to feel turned on. Right so right I did that emotional work here is so important to making her feel like let’s honor that anxiety let her share it let her feel like it makes sense that she’s not beating herself up for feeling that way which is so often what partners are going to do like there’s something wrong me I have low libido I’m broken. No, this is this is a natural state. When there’s not a lot of room for your for you to share your fears. This is what happens when our fears are chronically suppressed.

Laurie Watson 23:49
Yes. And we have no idea about her libido right now. It’s completely masked by anxiety. We don’t know what she honestly feels like. about sex and the sexual experience for herself and between,

George Faller 24:04
right and that question of can you share a give feedback? And when you said as Ella, no, I can’t, you know, that’s a big red flag for me that says, alright, this is the area where we’re going to have to do a lot of work in right to get her to see the value of instead of protected, just protected her partner, she’s what Eleanor is not recognized is the cost of that protection as for her to lose herself, and then she’s going to get blamed for losing herself. I which is going to add more stress on top of exactly, and that’s a pretty vicious circle.

Laurie Watson 24:35
And she’s a fairly typical patient, I would say.

George Faller 24:39
All right. So Eleanor, I just want to just ask you another tough question, because even as you said that to me, you said right, he can be a bit insecure. And I really have to be careful not to make that worse. And it shows me how hard you’ll work again, how much you love your husband. I guess I’m curious what would happen if you weren’t able to protect his insecurities if they grow? What are you afraid might happen? Gosh, that

Laurie Watson 25:08
is a deep question. I mean, I certainly get afraid of that. So I, I get afraid that somehow or another he’s, he’s, he’s gonna be more insecure. I mean, I think what I told you I don’t really tell him much about myself. What if it grew and I couldn’t stop it? Is that what you’re saying? I couldn’t write it. Or I couldn’t change it. You know, this is so important to and I know it’s so wrapped up in how he feels like he’s a man. So it’s almost like if I were to not be able to stop his frustration from growing I and he kind of Maybe I said something critical and bad or something that he thinks is critical, or even just, I guess, redirecting him. I’m afraid he would, he would not feel like a man. And he would be hurt, like irreparably hurt. That’s what I’m afraid of.

George Faller 26:18
What might he do if he felt he wasn’t a man and you couldn’t repair that,

Laurie Watson 26:23
you know, he gets mad at me a lot about sex, but that would be worse. It’s like he would be deflated, lose his spirit or something is what I’m afraid of.

George Faller 26:34
Okay. Again, I just appreciate you lead me into that place, right that if he got deflated and lost his spirit, you’d kind of lose a big part of who your husband is that empty feeling inside of you, which is grow.

Laurie Watson 26:46
I mean, yes, and then he would be empty. And that’s really sad. Wow.

George Faller 26:53
Wow. So the payoff is if you can kind of even if you lose part of you and you’re empty, if He’s still feel secure. You still got your husband. But if if you’re not able to make him feel secure you both wind up feeling pretty empty.

Laurie Watson 27:09
Right? Wow. And he’s a good guy. I feel like just saying this is making him sound like he’s not a good guy. But I mean, he works hard and it’s guitar kids. He’s He’s a good guy.

George Faller 27:20
We got a nice little strategy. See, listen is how Eleanor bounces out of that place, right? There’s not a lot of room to talk about our fear. So she wants to go back to protected him because that’s normally what she does. So I would want to say yes, of course, Eleanor, he’s a good guy, you know, and he’s so lucky to have you too. Because look at how how you willing to sacrifice to kind of keep this this love strong. It really touches me right? And we’re going to honor that but the work is going to be helping Eleanor when she bounces out of herself and starts focusing on on him and what she needs to do. We need to be able to get her to come back and put more words actually that place inside of her

Laurie Watson 28:00
Right. And I would say as I impersonate her. My worry is this is an individual session, I take it and we’re going to come all back together. And I’m I’m worried that the therapist is going to say something that I’ve said in a way that my husband is going to feel criticized. So I it’s like, suddenly, it becomes very important to me to let the therapists know. Like, kind of like, if I had more of a voice, I’d say, Please don’t say any of this to my husband, I really don’t want you to tell them what I’ve said, because I’m afraid he’ll take it. It’s like, not only do I want to do I protect him. Now I want the therapist to protect him. And, and this is a closed system, right? Because we can’t talk about things because she’s so anxious, something terrible is gonna happen.

George Faller 28:47
Exactly. So that’s why we as therapists see a way of strengthening the Allies between a therapist and a client right to really help you feel safer. To be more explicit about the process, you know, so there’s that psych Ed that would say, with all couples, what I’m trying to do is identify the things they can share the things they can’t share for very good reasons. Right? And if we can create safety if your husband kind of wanted to know more about these places where you struggled inside, that would be something that probably would be different for you. What do you think that would be like? Eleanor? if, if, if your husband really didn’t know a lot of this, but wanted to kind of help you in these places where you feel pretty anxious or pretty empty? Hmm.

Laurie Watson 29:38
I guess I would feel good. I guess I would feel good. I never really thought about him wanting to know any of that. Yeah, I mean, I don’t know that he’s that deep. Honestly. I think he just wants sex, but I mean, does he want to know what I think about I don’t know.

George Faller 29:56
It seems like when you’re getting kissing or cuddling. When when it doesn’t lead to sex when you get his interest that that’s what’s comforting you in these anxious places. That’s That’s a beautiful way of doing it. Another way is like when you’re feeling that way if you could communicate it, you knew he wanted to help you there that would be a road that currently YouTube don’t have to use with each other.

Laurie Watson 30:18
Right? We don’t do each other we Yeah, I don’t think any of this Do we really talk about that much?

George Faller 30:26
Well, thank you, Elena. I want to make sure that she leaves feeling successful, but the risks that she took it and fighting for herself is a way of bringing more energy into her her relationship and into her life and into her her relationship. So

Laurie Watson 30:41
and I would say I hope that sexual pursuer male sexual pursuers out there have had a look at what a woman who might be a little more anxious and appearing to avoid sex looks like so she looks sexually avoidant, but she’s also emotionally anxiously attached. Very preoccupied. applied by him and his experience. I just hope that that provides people with an insight of what it feels like. That’s what I love about doing this podcast with you George’s we, we let people in to see things that I think they might not be able to see.

George Faller 31:16
I totally agree. And I hope it’s people listening. We get a couple of these emails every week saying it feels like your front row and you know, in our relationship and our bedroom and seeing like, how do we know all this stuff? We know all this stuff, because this is what humans do. We have good reasons why we protect ourselves. It’s usually coming from a loving place that we just haven’t had help from people to find out words, to know how to communicate in a way that will be successful. And that really is the mission of this podcast. It’s to let people communicate in much more direct, powerful ways.

Laurie Watson 31:51
And if this was meaningful to you, we’d love for you to share it with a friend. And thanks for listening to us.

George Faller 31:57
Give us good ratings

Laurie Watson 31:58
and ratings. That would be good too. Thanks for listening to foreplay radio.

George Faller 32:05
Keep it hot baby.

Announcer 32:07
Hey patrons Laurie is offering a Facebook Live on Friday night June 12. Starting at 6pm. Eastern Sign up today.

Laurie Watson 32:14
For those of you who are listening today, we are also going to send out some free Uber lives. Those of you who sponsor us on our Patreon page, calling your

Announcer 32:23
questions to the four play question voicemail, dial 833 my four play that’s 833 the number four play and we’ll use the questions for our mailbag episodes. All content is for entertainment purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for therapy by a licensed clinician or as medical advice from a doctor.