This one comes at you fast! George and Laurie talk through a variety of sex acts that couples choose to liven things up. No judgements just a curious exploration of what might turn a monogamous couple on and why. With lots of laughter, they talk through where to do it, what you might try, how to reduce some anxiety when trying new things – everything from sexual positions to taking control to role play. If you’d like to receive the list Sexual Variety for you and your partner to talk about – email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
Help us and join our contest to win from our sponsor Manscape a perfect package by sending us a screenshot of your review on iTunes! Drawing on 12/4/20.
George, we’re going to talk about some sexy stuff today. Sexual menus and variety.
George Faller 00:08
Laurie Watson 00:12
Welcome to foreplay radio couples in sex therapy. I’m Laurie Watson, your sex therapist.
George Faller 00:17
And I’m George Faller, your couples therapist,
Laurie Watson 00:20
and we are passionate about talking about sex and helping you develop a way to talk to each other.
George Faller 00:25
Our mission is to help our audience develop a healthier relationship to sex that integrates the mind, the heart and the body.
Laurie Watson 00:34
For a great personal lubricant, please check out fubu.com and use the coupon foreplay to support us at the podcast. Thanks. You know, George and I were going to do a couple stay on February 5. So we would like to invite all of you to come and join us you can find information about it on foreplay radio, sex, therapy.com. It’s on our website, basically. And all you do is you sign up and then I think we’re having you pay by Venmo or PayPal or something, and then we’ll send you registration. But we’re very excited about this. This will be our first Couples Retreat. We’re calling it the couple’s romance retreat, awaken love and sex. That’s how we decided on.
George Faller 01:16
So far, so good. But let’s have both why nots, you get great sex and great love. Okay, together
Laurie Watson 01:22
great sex, great love. That’s a great title. I love it. Why didn’t you come up with that earlier? Okay, and we also for this, we would love to put you on our email. And some of you we’ve the Patreon page, we have $1 sign up, and you get the newsletter from us about once a quarter if we’re good with that. But we’re going to do that for free. And if you want to give us $1 actually, all those dollars add up, they really help us. We’re working on paying for our social media right now. And that would be lovely if you go there. But if you would like a copy of what we’re going to talk about today, go to foreplay radio, sex, therapy.com. And contact us, there’s a lot of opportunities to contact us. We’ll get your email, and we’ll send you a downloadable copy of this worksheet, which is kind of on variety. And you and your partner can go through it. And basically, what’s the sexual menu?
George Faller 02:26
It has a nice list of things you might like or not like, it’s just giving you options. I think so often what couples get stuck in is they they fall into routines where they don’t realize there’s so many other things out there that they could be trying. Right. So this is a way today, we’re just going to read off this menu. There’s no right or wrong, but we want you thinking about Hey, is this something I could see myself? us doing more of? Or you know what not interested at all? If you almost give yourself a score on like a zero being not at all and 10? Being Yes, let’s do it. Now. That’s what we want you thinking about as we read off of this menu, just to spark some engagement. Sure.
Laurie Watson 03:08
And you can you know, you can do this yourself, you can brainstorm and just think about all the things that you might ever want to do or think about what comes up for you when you hear the words, sensual, sexuality, eroticism. And, you know, we can talk about how to do this yourself and how to use this worksheet. I think the worksheet has you circle a number in terms of how anxious would you feel about this? Because that’s a different way of thinking versus, you know, no, not ever versus Well, this, this really brings high anxiety to me. And I think that’s a new way of having the conversation. So, George, this is from awakening, something that I’ve given patients for quite a while. So George, why don’t you read a few of these, this is a brainstorm that we all came up with long ago.
George Faller 03:59
And it seems like there’s no specific order to this. There is
Laurie Watson 04:04
no order hit you right in the face right off just
George Faller 04:07
goes. And let’s just
Laurie Watson 04:11
let me one caveat. I think, you know, if you’re a sexual pursuer, and you download this sheet, and you’re so anxious to talk to your partner about all these exciting ways of having sex and acts, think twice, right? think twice about that pushing energy if your partner’s not ready for this.
George Faller 04:29
And all your drawers out there we invite you to get curious doesn’t mean you know pressure, you don’t have to act on any of them. This is just, you know, just ideas. Just play. We talked about this on other podcasts. Just imagine doesn’t mean we actually have to do any of them. Just allow yourself to sit back, listen, and if anything leaps out at you, it might be a body saying let’s go explore further.
Laurie Watson 04:54
All right, so let’s read the list. Here
George Faller 04:56
we go. We’re just gonna start off with Adam Calgary How about that? face into man’s feet?
Laurie Watson 05:07
I know backwards action backwards action. Yeah. Right. Yeah, some some people that back can be a hot position. Okay.
George Faller 05:16
Some they might not like it. All right, a roll to this list. How about just
Laurie Watson 05:22
I think some men really like that though. They like to see the backside and women they can touch themselves. It’s a good position.
George Faller 05:30
Right? Just the general idea of initiating.
George Faller 05:35
You’d like to really want that from your partner.
Laurie Watson 05:38
This as you said, this is a no order of intensity. Lots of intense ideas here and we’re just not so intense.
George Faller 05:46
Sex from behind. Yep. mouthing, I watch you at a party. Hey, thinking about it outside.
Laurie Watson 05:56
Like know myself. That’s right. That’s, I think that’s so sexy. That idea of having kind of a secret across the room, you know,
George Faller 06:05
okay. For handcuffs,
Laurie Watson 06:09
George Faller 06:11
Be a little draw on some blindfolds,
Laurie Watson 06:14
George Faller 06:17
bust out the vibrators vibrate is plural. Hear what they mean by that? But use your imagination.
Laurie Watson 06:25
Lots, you can use them. You can use them together. You can use lots of them at once. Fun stuff.
George Faller 06:33
Carly can read her breasts.
Laurie Watson 06:37
Yeah. Different intercourse.
George Faller 06:40
All the different places on the body.
Laurie Watson 06:42
Absolutely. I just want to say one of the cool things about sexual menus is you can solve problems. You know you can you can have fun in bed if you have are having difficulty like you know, maybe she has sexual pain problems. And so, you know if he comes between her breasts that can be really sexy for him. It can be sexy for her. You know, there’s no pain. You know? Get creative.
George Faller 07:08
is all about creativity. wearing some elegant lingerie.
Laurie Watson 07:13
Andre can get both people in the mood.
George Faller 07:17
Having a no orgasm, sex play rule for one night. Take it off the table. See what that does to ignite the heat.
Laurie Watson 07:26
Don’t come back that game is a good game, especially when people are really worried like when when they start to watch themselves or start to get anxious about climaxing don’t calm it’s a great game to play because it turns it on its head.
George Faller 07:44
Sex in a parked car.
Am I supposed to be talking about everyone?
George Faller 07:49
I know though you don’t have. Can you
Laurie Watson 07:51
talk about sex in a park?
George Faller 07:54
I’m just gonna bring us back to high school days. Never such a bad thing. Maybe it is for some of us. fellatio while driving. We almost want to go with my wife to Costco later today. I don’t know. It’s just Excuse me. I say this. But that’s what happens when you allow your brain to wander. Yeah. Connie Lingus kneeling over his face. could they not come up with a better word than that though? Laurie? I mean, that doesn’t sound like it’s such a fun thing to do. Although it’s pretty cool. So
Laurie Watson 08:29
it’s vulnerable, vulnerable, right? Doing that is sometimes more vulnerable. And sex is all about vulnerability.
George Faller 08:37
Question you know, episode on that alone.
Yeah. Huh? That one we should
George Faller 08:42
sex while standing up.
Laurie Watson 08:45
You know, you got to be the right heights though. Or maybe maybe a little stool. stair stairwell? You know? I could be fun.
George Faller 08:56
Laurie Watson 08:58
Well, this one people are so hung up over this one. Hey, like, talking dirty. I think a lot of it is people just want their partner to be super explicit. I mean, maybe they want them to drop the F bomb. Could be fine. That could be great in bed but Allen’s for some I know some of you out there going Oh, are you kidding me that I would that would so turn me off. But maybe it’s just talking explicitly.
George Faller 09:28
That’s the beauty of sex. Different things turn us on and off. Just trying to line up to watts at the same time. All right, page two. Laurie, you want to go I want me to keep going. Wait, you keep
page two up.
George Faller 09:42
We’re just throwing out things. oral sex. The idea that maybe I
Laurie Watson 09:47
shouldn’t maybe that should have been you know, like, right at the beginning. It was a little it was a little tamer than some of these others you think?
George Faller 09:55
Yeah. Well, now we’re talking. You know, we would separately in cars and things We’re talking 69 as you’re doing it together
Laurie Watson 10:03
69 years, right?
George Faller 10:04
How about the bra and panty set? I know what a
Laurie Watson 10:08
sexy bra and panty set so that when you take off your clothes, there’s something sexy underneath.
George Faller 10:15
All right, how about a G string
Laurie Watson 10:17
and a G string? leather? leather. Some people that that could be very hot.
George Faller 10:26
Maybe some dominance of submissive games, some cake. Mm hmm. Whip spikes, peg
Laurie Watson 10:34
peg decks, lame pegging swords. Do you not think that’s on the list? Did you put that in there?
George Faller 10:40
Just why not pagan sir. Right when the wife partner strap sada Delta, right. Using pornography during sex. Sharon fantasies dressing up roleplay with just throwing it out. You’re going way too fast and going fast, Laurie? Because that’s my nature. Because we have kids,
you’re male, cuz we got like four pages to cover. Okay,
George Faller 11:12
I was reading. You know, how, how long the average man last during intercourse? How long? You guys?
George Faller 11:22
Two and a half minutes?
Laurie Watson 11:24
Two and a half minutes? Which I have to sink stats here. falar.
George Faller 11:29
Yeah. Well, corroborated a few sources. Hmm. Okay.
Laurie Watson 11:36
So in your bodies, whips.
George Faller 11:41
bodies, there would be like, an hour, two hours, that would be the two and a half minutes, which is part of a whole nother show for us. Sharing fantasies.
Laurie Watson 11:55
It’s so intimate, right to share your erotic mind and your fantasies. Do you think that people share fantasies? Like, is it exhaustible? Like, can they do they stop having fantasies?
George Faller 12:11
It’s a great question. I don’t know how many. It’s such a rich area to explore between and I yet I think most couples are scared of this one. Mm hmm.
Laurie Watson 12:23
So hard to ask for what you want her to talk about what you want that fantasy is so revealing. It’s really tough.
George Faller 12:31
That’s a great area to lean into. How about dressing up?
Laurie Watson 12:35
Right? roleplay we just talked about that. It’s a way to be somebody else. costumes. Somebody somebody told me recently. You know, the fantasy was about a nurse and I was talking about it with Ryan Raina is my supervisor and EFT and, you know, he said something. He goes, Oh, yeah, scrubs are hot. I’m like, oh, man, you are young. You know, you do not know about the whites. You know, the white nylons, the white but just because Oh, you mean the funny hat. I’m like, oh man, you are so young. Because that was such a the nurses always were so virginal looking and so pure and kind of the whole fantasy of debauchery with somebody so you know, so Nightingale ish.
George Faller 13:22
Yeah. And I think men could do a lot better job with this. You got a your bathrobe on and maybe you did your manscape ID please do landscape right. You could do your little reveal which a bathrobe like Why is it always women? I have to get dressed up grab some Maggie’s you wear and maybe you kind of come in with your five minute outfit. Who knows how some
people all over the world are gonna be thinking about that fireman outfit when you’re talking about that dude.
George Faller 13:52
All right, let’s finish this list.
Laurie Watson 13:57
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George Faller 14:26
I I just think people need to use it. No matter what I mean it’s fun, right and we went on all fronts. So when both people become more comfortable using it, we have more to work with and play with.
Laurie Watson 14:39
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George Faller 14:57
and then makes a great stocking stuff,
Laurie Watson 15:00
George Faller 15:03
this week’s G spot Laurie. Let’s deconstruct fixed sexual narratives and replace them with vivid, beautifully detailed, flexible stories.
Laurie Watson 15:17
Hmm, not that we have a giveaway for people who if you would go on to iTunes and give us a review, wherever you are in the world, I don’t always see them if you’re somewhere else in the world. So what I want you to do is take a screenshot and send them to me, and you are going to be entered to win for a manscape perfect package. It’s has all kinds of goodies in it. And manscape has graciously allowed us to do this and is providing the product it has the lawnmower, which is the trimmer, the boxers with fun underwear, the crop reviver just to make you smell fresh. And the magic mat is like this funny. It’s a newspaper that you put below you when you’re trimming, and the shed, which is kind of a toolbox, right? It’s, you can keep all these things in one place. And so very fun. But we just invite you to enter our contest, and we are going to put all of those names in a hat. Please join our manscape giveaway. Thank you manscape so much. We’re so glad you’re our sponsor, and send us a review a screenshot of your review and will enter you into the contest.
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George Faller 16:41
All right, Laurie. So again, no rhyme or reason. There’s just random things to spark, whatever it sparks,
Laurie Watson 16:48
and you can get this on our website for play radio, sex therapy.com. Just send us your contact information and say I want the variety. Download and we’ll send it to you. And that will be great. And we’ll talk with you. We’ll link you to our newsletter. Which we’ll also talk about our retreat that is coming up in February.
George Faller 17:10
All right, let’s get back to the movie set.
Laurie Watson 17:13
The movies that
George Faller 17:14
allow your brain to just wander Could you imagine sex in the living room? Sex on your table? Sex on the floor? Sex in a bathroom? Any addict in a basement?
Laurie Watson 17:26
George’s adding them in sex on the stairwell? I think I think that’s hot
George Faller 17:33
sex at the beach.
Laurie Watson 17:34
Sex at the beach. You know this one? You gotta be careful because it could be in public. You know we are not encouraging illegal exposure.
George Faller 17:47
picking your spouse up at the bar.
Laurie Watson 17:51
I think that’s such a great one. Just really really truly imagine your partner as other as different brand new. I tell people they should get like a hotel room. And she should go right she should take a long bath a long nap come down all dolled up all hot and he meets her there picks her up and and then they just go upstairs. Sounds pretty
George Faller 18:15
Laurie Watson 18:16
George Faller 18:17
How about a license play? anal sex?
Laurie Watson 18:21
anal play no sex. The anus has erotic nerve endings. But you know many people are socialized that it’s dirty, dirty dirty and so they can’t enjoy that but it actually physiologically has erotic nerve endings. So it is what it is
George Faller 18:38
the right saying voc using the word allowing yourself to say it out loud.
Is that really on the sheet?
George Faller 18:46
That’s on your sheet.
Laurie Watson 18:49
Okay, George drops the F bomb in for
George Faller 18:52
won’t be the first time the last time finger and your wife at the movies are in an airplane.
Laurie Watson 18:59
Again careful with the public public exposure but could be middle of the night. Yes. Could be hot. Cold. Hot the Mile High. noon, snowing that you’re alive.
George Faller 19:16
About a good old spanking.
Laurie Watson 19:18
spanking. Why do you think that that’s so erotic. Why do you think people think that’s so erotic?
George Faller 19:23
That’s a good question. They care something about control and
Laurie Watson 19:29
intensity, intensity. pain and pleasure are kind of close in some way.
George Faller 19:34
A whole lot of people enjoying kink, right? There’s something about that. That domination that surrendering submissiveness that just is something about pain that’s arousing for some people. That’s right. locking the bedroom door.
Laurie Watson 19:51
Please. If you have children, that’s not even erotic. That’s just necessity.
George Faller 19:58
So we’re gonna take that one off the list. We just that standard operating procedure.
Laurie Watson 20:02
But there are people that I can’t get to do that though. I will say, you know, they they’re just so anxious about locking their bedroom door.
George Faller 20:10
Laurie Watson 20:12
touches in public. Very nice. It’s like you’re reminding each other your lovers.
George Faller 20:19
remind yourself of that romantic side, let the heart be primed. Before you engage in sex. I think that’s really nice.
Laurie Watson 20:26
Mm hmm. I also think it’s nice. You know, when your partner touches you in public, it’s, I don’t know, like at a party or when we used to have parties. It’s kind of this weird together, it sends a message to everybody. We’re in love. We’re, I don’t know. It’s nice. And it feels it feels good.
George Faller 20:46
kissing in public, was something really important about that kissing and a lot of different places, not just a bedroom. That’s right. Throw in some light bondage. Maybe tying your tie up your hands, your legs, your feet.
Laurie Watson 21:01
Mm hmm. I will say one thing when people are anxious when they want to try this, but they’re a little anxious. I’ve said what about tying silk scarves or something to the bed person holding on to them. So sort of psychological bondage, not necessarily literal bondage. So that they just they restrict themselves.
George Faller 21:22
Right. And maybe that’s a step towards then let yourself go into actually being tied up the next time. If it felt like you had a good experience just holding on
Laurie Watson 21:33
and and i think trust, right, they they’re building trust with their partner.
George Faller 21:39
Laurie Watson 21:41
This is such a great invention for our age.
George Faller 21:46
I agree. Just again, subtle reminders to prime the pump. We’re trying to take this outside the bedroom, that is your erotic self is kind of can be tapped into it lots of different times. Maybe you’re in different countries or different states. But you know, those little texts are a way of letting each other know you’re on my mind.
Laurie Watson 22:07
I think that’s it. I think that’s the whole thing with gifts too. You know, when people say my love languages, guess it, it can sound a little selfish, like what you want me to buy you stuff, but I think it’s when those flowers are sitting on the counter, or the item whatever is it’s just a reminder that you’re on that person’s mind. And, and a text a sexy text. Whoo. You know, it’s nice to know you’re on their mind.
George Faller 22:32
Laurie Watson 22:34
And that they and also, I think that it, it proves that you have sex on your mind. You know, and especially if you’re the sexual withdrawal or sending a sexy taxes a great way to remind your partner you actually are a sexual being.
George Faller 22:49
I love the randomness of this list. It like shocks your brain. You don’t kiss it in public, but plugs to sex Vegas like right, so we got some butt plugs to throw in
Laurie Watson 23:01
and butt plugs. It’s again, the erotic nerve endings of the anus. Give that’s that’s you said how can you use multiple words? You know vibrators at the same time that plugs clitoral vibrators, parent em vibrators that’s like, right underneath the scrotum for the man before his anus. That can that’s a really really sensitive part in a man that can feel great with vibration.
George Faller 23:27
Right, given her oral sex while she looks out the front window. Right.
Laurie Watson 23:35
I keep encouraging public sector.
George Faller 23:39
Laurie Watson 23:42
exposure. Oh heavens. Protect yourself.
George Faller 23:50
I was reading something around oral sex that the G spot is actually just the backside of the calligaris.
Laurie Watson 23:56
Right. Right. Exactly. With that? Yes. Yes, it’s the underside of the colorist. That’s why it’s so sensitive. It’s like the clutter is actually has legs. And so it’s like between that it’s really highly erotic. Yes. So g spot stimulation and oral sex is hitting essentially the back and front side of those nerves.
George Faller 24:19
Viva La vulva. I guess we have to I think men have to become a lot more clear his focus and the vagina focus on most of us have been true.
Laurie Watson 24:29
George Faller 24:30
yeah, that’s a whole nother show. Video sex, zoom, sex, phone, sex, all that using technology not just to distract us, but to actually bring us closer together.
Laurie Watson 24:40
Right. And people you know, they like to watch themselves too. Obviously, that has to be with permission. I’ve heard a lot of people who have been violated with this, but you know, their partner takes a zoom or takes a video of them without telling him I always tell your partner but I think for some people, it’s like the perfect kind of porn. They’re watching themselves. I had a friend too. I don’t think this is on my list and I’m going to add it to the list. But they used to make love they would they had one of those long mirrors in their bedroom and they would tilt it on its side horizontally, and they’d make love in front of it so they could watch themselves. I thought that is a really great idea. Yeah. Sexy.
George Faller 25:19
Well, I got a we got two pages long. I’m gonna read through them and then we’ll get a comment. Yeah,
Laurie Watson 25:25
you’re telling me this is the ideas, George. Okay.
George Faller 25:31
forget to wear underwear. And let your partner know that just think about that.
Laurie Watson 25:37
You’re talking now? I’m sorry. Maybe I was talking too much. You wanted to talk more?
George Faller 25:42
Where booths and nothing else? show up in the boots are made for walking. Play some music heavy metal rock country you name it. Mix it up different vibes. Different music.
Laurie Watson 25:54
Wait, wait, George. Do you know that we have a Spotify channel for four play?
George Faller 25:59
Laurie Watson 26:00
we have on Spotify. We have a four play playlist. What’s your favorite sec song?
George Faller 26:04
I don’t know. I’m seeing you have Norah Jones. I don’t even know what that is.
Laurie Watson 26:10
Okay. Well, Norah Jones is actually is she’s kind of a soft, lazy person. You don’t have a favorite sex song? No, you gotta tell me and I’m going to add it to the list. All right. Okay.
George Faller 26:20
candlelight. Bathing together. Daylight sex. Morning sex. Middle of the night sex afternoon sex. tight jeans. tramp stamp tattoo. Is that do it for you?
Laurie Watson 26:36
I do think that’s really sexy. Yes.
George Faller 26:39
Laurie Watson 26:41
My girlfriend said to me, she’s like, Yeah, but when you’re like 70 and that is like saying down your ass. You know? Not in second.
George Faller 26:49
All right. sex toys. Sex lotions. Here we go. Uber lube.
mubaloo. Yay. And manscape cologne. We love it.
George Faller 27:01
Using a different sexual language. Pig Latin is that work? Show your partner how you masturbate. I like that one
Laurie Watson 27:10
that is vulnerable and sexy.
George Faller 27:13
Back rubs, buttocks, massages, feet rubs, genital massage. Here we go. pubic hair trim, wax shave, helping each other out to grow
Laurie Watson 27:28
with the manscape lawnmower. writes, I love it. Men need to do that, too. You know, I think men need to do that. Okay, only one more minute, but it’s probably important for men to understand.
George Faller 27:39
And why do you think it’s so important for them to use that?
Laurie Watson 27:43
I think it will give them more of what they want.
George Faller 27:46
Okay, so what are you saying it’s gonna lead to increase? What?
Laurie Watson 27:50
oral sex oral men women complain so much about getting a hair in their mouth or something. This is this would be good.
George Faller 27:58
All right. Another good reason. saying I love you asking for cuddling. sucking your partner’s toes, wearing a silk jockstrap buying nipple tassels using torches. Think of that one using edible powder chocolate whipped cream. Fruit. Never heard of this one either given oral sex while alternately sipping from hot tea to ice tea. Mm hmm. Laurie can talk a lot about that multiple positions at the same night. multiple orgasms. tantric sex, garter belts biting rough fast, furious sex, rip it off clothes getting drunk, talking to each other. Hey, foreplay. That’s our main one. Looking into each other’s eyes while orgasm, belly button rings, fish nets. stilettos touching your partner with your toes under the table. Just a little list. Awesome. Laurie, to start more conversation. Let’s go people add to this list. Make it your own. Have a fun conversation. What are we missing? There’s so much here that we can play with and bring it to the inside and outside the bedroom.
Laurie Watson 29:24
Well, thanks for listening to the sexual menu and we will send it to you. I think it is hot now.
George Faller 29:31
That’s we don’t have to keep it hot. Just this list. Very excited. Laurie, upcoming Couples Retreat weekend. Great love, great sex. What an opportunity for couples to work on that sexual and emotional cycle.
Laurie Watson 29:50
I know I’m so excited we get to partner together to actually teach and share with couples and we are going to start enrollment for this basically in December, you can come to our website on foreplay radio, sex therapy calm. And there will be a page there about the great love great sex retreat. It’s going to be on Friday on February 5, and we’re really encouraging you to take the weekend away together to do this material with us. We’re going to have interactive parts, talking about the emotional connection, the cycle, asking your partner questions, we’ll have little breakouts, we’re going to keep it fun, keep it hot. It’s going to be a fast day. We’ll start at 10am Eastern Standard Time February 5, great love great sex. Find us on the website and sign up. We don’t
George Faller 30:42
give many guarantees. But if you show up for this retreat, you will have conversations you’ve never had with your partner before.
Laurie Watson 30:50
We have a little referral for those of you who are in the EFT world and who are therapists interested in attachment theory. One of our colleagues who is brilliant is Dr. Annabel Bugatti. And she is publishing a book called using relentless empathy in the therapeutic relationship. And this is awesome for laypeople. So, if you’re interested on how using relentless empathy works in terms of healing you and healing your relationship, we really encourage you to go ahead and preorder this book on Amazon. We’ll put it on our website, but it’s basically how the power of empathic responsiveness coupled with attachment science and interventions, helps heal us and we are excited and proud of Dr. Annabel Bugatti, and her new book relentless empathy and her contribution to the field where we’re proud to represent her and to encourage you to go to Amazon and buy this book.
George Faller 31:46
Empathy is often the missing ingredient. That’s the thing people are craving the most. And Annabel Bugatti is an expert than helping partners learn how to provide that
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