You are currently viewing Episode 379: Foreplay Listeners Best Sex Tips

Episode 379: Foreplay Listeners Best Sex Tips

Just like in therapy, we learn just as much from our listeners as you learn from us! A few weeks ago, we put out a request on our Instagram feed, @foreplay_sextherapypodcast for listeners to send us their best sex tips. Let us just say that, you DID.NOT. disappoint!! On this episode, George and Laurie read through some of the tips submitted: from being more intentional, to building anticipation and celebrating gray sweatpants season, this is a super fun and informative episode. Make sure to listen and share with your partner for some fresh ideas to keep it hot!

Sponsor: and use code foreplay50 to get 50% off your first box 35% off site wide when you use the code FOREPLAY

Show Notes

Building Habits for Success in Couples

– Discussion on the importance of being intentional and building habits in a relationship.
– Mention of scheduling sex as part of a routine for more success in couples.
– Emphasis on the benefits of consistency in sexual intimacy for better understanding of each other’s bodies.
– Acknowledgement of novelty and excitement, while also investing in the depth of a relationship.

 Interaction with Audience and Social Media

– Appreciation for audience support and encouragement to share their work with others.
– Invitation to join them on Instagram for more engagement.
– Announcement of plans to start recording and sharing live video clips on Instagram.
– Mention of audience feedback about George’s appearance not matching his voice.

Using Vibrators and Exploring Fun in the Bedroom

– Discussion on how using a vibrator can bring positive change and success to a couple’s energy in the bedroom.
– Acknowledgment of fears around discussing vibrator use and the importance of overcoming them for more fun.
– Encouragement to explore different activities and approach the bedroom with a playful mindset.

 Compassion and Understanding Sexual Preferences

– Acknowledgement of different sexual roles and preferences.
– Encouragement to have compassion for partners, friends, and clients who may have different sexual preferences.
– Mention of the idea of a “faith-fling” to enhance sex life and role-playing scenarios for added excitement.

Being in the Present Moment and Surrendering

– Discussion on men’s struggle with performance anxiety and focus during sex.
– Advice for men to relax, let go, and surrender to the present moment for a more connected experience.
– Emphasis on intentional presence and connection in sexual interactions.

Making Sex a Habit and Overcoming Resistance

– Reference to Neil Moss’s suggestion of making sex a habit for unexpected benefits.
– Explanation of how regular sexual activity helps overcome resistance and increases desire.
– Mention of the positive effects of skin-to-skin contact in alleviating anxiety about body image.
– Encouragement for regular orgasms as part of making sex a habit.

 Seeking Satisfaction and Communication

– Questioning how to achieve a satisfying sexual experience and recognizing when it has been achieved.
– Mention of looking for physical markers or evidence in therapy sessions to observe changes in sexual experiences.
– Discussion on the helpfulness and intuitiveness of talking about sexual experiences with partners.
– Homework assignment to discuss preferences in sexual intercourse and finding enjoyable motions and angles.

Female Orgasm and Educating about Alternatives

– Mention of the low percentage (18%) of women who achieve orgasm.
– Critique of cultural emphasis on intercourse as the main path to female orgasm.
– Noting the pressure felt by men when their partners don’t orgasm.
– Advocacy for better education about other ways to achieve orgasm, particularly clitoral stimulation during intercourse.



Joe Davis – Announcer [00:00:00]:

The following content is not suitable for.

Laurie Watson [00:00:01]:

Children sex tips from our listeners.

George Faller [00:00:05]:

Yeah, Laurie. Let’s do it.

Laurie Watson [00:00:10]:

Welcome to foreplay sex therapy. I’m Dr. Laurie Watson, your sex therapist.

George Faller [00:00:14]:

And I’m George Faller, your couple’s therapist.

Laurie Watson [00:00:17]:

We are here to talk about sex.

George Faller [00:00:19]:

Our mission is to help couples talk about sex in ways that incorporate their body body, their mind, and their hearts.

Laurie Watson [00:00:27]:

And we have a little bit of fun doing it right, g. Listen and.

George Faller [00:00:30]:

Let’S change some relationships.

Laurie Watson [00:00:33]:

Uber lube. It’s a luxury lubricant. Can you say that three times fast? Uber lube. Luxury lubricant. Basically, it’s pure silicone bliss. It is made from superior ingredients. It has skin soothing vitamin E, and it goes on just like natural moisture, and it lasts a long time. There’s no drip. Their glass bottles are truly beautiful. You can leave them on your bedstand. I do no problem. Nobody notices. And it’s basically like this thin, slippery silicone formulation. It reduces friction, which is great, but it doesn’t reduce sensation, and it stays slippery long enough for lasting pleasure. They have travel friendly, toughened glass bottles. You can slip it in your gym bag. You can slip it in your purse. You can be ready whenever. Try Uber lube. The silicone use the code Foreplay for 10% off. Really, it is the best lubricant on the market.

George Faller [00:01:34]:

I always love when our listeners are engaged and kind of trying to help us, pointing out things we miss. There’s only certain things two people can see. When you got a whole audience of thousands, we get to kind of keep pushing this mission forward.

Laurie Watson [00:01:48]:

Yes, and we appreciate you so much. The biggest compliment to us is if you would share with a friend our work, because we think that this conversation we’re having, we don’t know anybody else who’s having that conversation about how you talk to each other sexually on a regular basis. So thank you, and thanks for participating. We sent a query on Instagram, which is foreplay underscore sex therapy podcast. Please join us there, too. We would love to have you there. And we do a lot of visual stuff there. George and I are starting to record ourselves, and we’re hoping to put our live video, just little clips out on there. George, I got to say, when we post a picture of you on Instagram, we get so much feedback, like, that guy does not look like how he sounds.

George Faller [00:02:37]:

That is the biggest 70 year old man. What’s going on here?

Laurie Watson [00:02:40]:

You sound like this craggy sailor with your accent, and then you’re like, this young guy. It’s like crazy.

George Faller [00:02:48]:

I’m not young on the inside. Maybe that’s why it’s coming out all craggly.

Laurie Watson [00:02:51]:

You’re not young on the inside.

George Faller [00:02:54]:

When we do trainings, I mean, you feed off the audience. We’re always asking for that participation. And it’s the same thing with this podcast. When people reach out and let us know what’s going on, it gives us so much energy. And I also want to thank our patrons right. The people that are investing in.

Laurie Watson [00:03:11]:

Yes, thank you. We want to grow this.

George Faller [00:03:15]:

We would love to kind of get someone on staff, someone could do some of this work. I mean, if we can keep growing this. I saw a couple the other day, they’ve been struggling. They’ve never talked about sex. And all of a sudden they’re having this conversation and their life changes and they’ve just never had the help to talk about it. So to know what we’re doing, people are investing in us and in this know we’re going to move on. Who knows what happens. The mission needs to keep going, right. This is bigger than all of us. So people that join us and our patrons and support us, thank you.

Laurie Watson [00:03:48]:

Please join us. Rebecca, who’s manning our social media, and we’ve actually had a lot of social media managers. Krista Bradley, she’s kind of back too. She might jump in here after she gets done helping me out at work. But Rebecca has done a great, beautiful job. She’s an EFT therapist and she really has had the most attuned ear when she listens to us. She also adds editing suggestions. She designs the instagram posts. I mean, she is really smart and attuned, I think, to the work that we’re trying to communicate both visually and just helping us with the editing too, and getting it across to people what we’re doing here. So. Thank you, Rebecca.

George Faller [00:04:34]:

It takes a village.

Laurie Watson [00:04:36]:

It does.

George Faller [00:04:37]:

It takes a village.

Speaker Ads [00:04:39]:

This episode is brought to you by Special K. However hectic life gets, the fuel you choose matters. So Special K has made two new irresistible varieties. Special K, high protein with real almonds, a rich chocolate flavor, and 20 grams of protein. And Special K with 0 gram of sugar packed with cinnamon flavor, 20 grams of protein and two net carbs. Visit to find a retailer near you.

George Faller [00:05:06]:

So let’s get into these ideas from our listeners. Spicing it up.

Laurie Watson [00:05:11]:

Woohoo. So I’m going to read something. Let’s see, Janice. Like Joplin says, toys, basically, right? And toys make it so much fun. And it shortens, kind of the average time for a woman. Maybe it takes women manually and with oral sex and no toys involved, probably about 40 minutes to reach orgasm. But with a toy, boom.

George Faller [00:05:38]:

It’s one of the simplest tries solutions. I’m always amazed at what a vibrator can do to a couple that’s been stuck for years and just kind of change the energy and give people success with it. Not normally having success, and the only thing stopping people is having this conversation about it. They’re afraid it’s going to insult the person or it’s like my penis isn’t enough. I mean, we need to get over this stuff and have more fun in the bedroom. I mean, it’s not such a serious thing. We make it into that’s. What a negative cycle wants to do, turn it into this heavy, fearful thing. It’s designed for play and for fun, and toys are part of fun. So again, it’s got to be aligned with your values. Whatever works. But that’s, I think, a really a big part of what we’re sharing here, Laurie. Like have some fun. If you wanted to do tic TAC toe with each other, you want to paint on each other, I don’t care what it is. Have a little bit more fun in the damn bedroom. Or maybe not in the bedroom. How about that?

Laurie Watson [00:06:32]:

How about not in the bedroom every once in a while? Yeah, exactly. So this person, Neil Moss, says, make sex a habit. Unexpected benefits will continuously spring forth. I agree, Neil, 100%. Because it’s out of the regularity of sex that your body is kind of accustomed to getting naked, to being touched, to feeling pleasure, that then you can reach those high highs. I don’t think that probably in long term partnered sex, the high high is every single time. But if you’re not having sex, there’s this resistance that you’re coming against. And I think especially as a woman, I think so many women, it’s like it’s been a while since they’ve taken their clothes off or they’re feeling anxious about their body or whatever, but just having that contact, that skin on skin contact, just makes you kind of crave it, makes you want it. And having regular orgasms? Yes. Make sex a habit.

George Faller [00:07:35]:

Yes, please. Habit, please. I like that, the intentionality of it. Right. To do that, you both have to be very intentional. It’s okay to schedule sex. That’s part of the routine. You build it into your life like you build anything else. And couples that are doing that are having a lot more success. And I love what you’re saying, that there’s something about getting all these reps in and this kind of consistency that allows you to know each other in your own body in a way that you might not just hooking up and going all over the place. We have so much focus on novelty and excitement, which is good too. But there’s something about the depth of being with somebody, knowing the nuances that you knowing yourself in a different way, like to invest in that is such a beautiful thing.

Laurie Watson [00:08:19]:

And I think just regular sex keeps us regulated. Having a regular orgasm, it’s like calmer, better, there’s connection. Orgasms release oxytocin. There’s a chemical that gets released that bonds us with the person we’re having sex with.

George Faller [00:08:38]:

And there’s a reason why Lori and I are doing this podcast. Two sexual pursuers. Why can’t the whole world just want to have more sex? Get it? Come on, let’s go. Right, so we get all you with yours out there and we do not you gotta have success.

Laurie Watson [00:08:55]:

Yep. You gotta have success. And our heart is to help you so that it’s safe and you have great experiences too, but I think for us we get the let’s make it a habit.

George Faller [00:09:07]:

Good one. You got two good ones right out of the gate. Laurie, what else you got for me?

Laurie Watson [00:09:11]:

So Mt. Kara. Kara, what a cool name. Relax. Let your mind experience past and present pleasure concurrently. Woof with flames and hearts. Love this. Say hot, George.

George Faller [00:09:26]:


Laurie Watson [00:09:27]:

That’s the sexy accent the mind, the body and the hot. Absolutely. Let your mind experience all of these things. Right. Your mind is, I think, generating what she’s talking about. I think this is a woman, what she’s talking about is generating pleasure, using your mind, thinking about the past and the present and letting it just kind of merge altogether. Flashing through sexy scenarios with your partner in your own experience. I think that can be very hot.

George Faller [00:10:00]:

Yeah. And I love the first words you use, relax. It’s a word I never even associated with sex. To me it was everything but relaxed. It was an exercise, it was a performance. It was like, we’re going to change the world here with this act, but this emphasis. And we know the research on great lovers and they all talk about the importance of being relaxed, being in the present moment in your body, using all your senses, that yeah, this is so important to take that moment to relax yourself, to be in that present moment. Really good advice.

Laurie Watson [00:10:36]:

Okay, so blackline Inc says gray sweatpants with a OOH. I think those are some sexy gray sweatpants that they are fantasizing about, don’t you think?

George Faller [00:10:50]:

I have no idea what they’re talking about. I hear gray sweatpants. So let’s get my imagination going. What am I missing?

Laurie Watson [00:10:58]:

Gray yoga sweatpants or something? I don’t know.

George Faller [00:11:03]:

Maybe it’s the vision of taking the sweatpants off that’s kind of doing it.

Laurie Watson [00:11:06]:

Yeah. And like what’s underneath those sweatpants?

George Faller [00:11:08]:

That’s the imagination that’s going.

Laurie Watson [00:11:10]:

The sweatpants kind of COVID up the body and then it’s like, woo. I know what’s hiding under those sweatpants. Yes. It could be a woman who’s thinking about a man in hot gray sweatpants.

George Faller [00:11:24]:

Yeah. Again, notice what it’s doing to us. It’s working great. It’s opening up the imagination, it’s opening up conversation. It’s like, what the heck do they mean here? It could mean this, it could mean this. And look at how we’re expanding the frame, right? Which is what sex is all about, expanding that frame. Good job with the Grace sweatpants. Try that one out.

Laurie Watson [00:11:46]:

I’ve seen you in grace wetpants, George. I don’t know, you might need to try something else there, buddy. Okay, I’ve got Stamina says text about it throughout the day. Flirt and imagine leading up to it. Oh yeah, that’s hot. Just kind of the lead up the arousal all day long. Kind of thinking about that. That’s very hot.

George Faller [00:12:08]:

Again, another thing, I didn’t recognize how important anticipation is, building that anticipation before the act. Right? That’s the foreplay. That can start days before. So yeah, those text, those notes, those little innuendos, right? That’s so awesome. I get a lot of people don’t think about it. It’s just like, all right, we’re in bed. Let me reach over. It’s like we had all day where we could have set that one up. So again, these are just people being more intentional. I love these ideas, and I think.

Laurie Watson [00:12:39]:

That anticipation is what we do when we’re first together. It’s like we’re imagining it and we’re always imagining it, and we’re always open to it. I mean, we go out on a date and we know we’re going to have sex that night, and so our mind is, or we’re hoping to have sex that night, but generally, right?

George Faller [00:12:58]:

Where is the kiss going to happen? Where are we going to go? Yeah.

Laurie Watson [00:13:01]:

Where’s the first touch? All of that. I think this is what women say. It’s like, I want to feel what I felt when I was first dating. It’s really not biochemical. It’s the drug of anticipation. They were thinking about that night, they were thinking about flirting. They were thinking about touching, they were thinking about being touched. They were thinking about being ravaged. All of that is the anticipation that builds desire. And I think for men, too, but I don’t know. Men need it as much. Maybe in a long term relationship, they’re up for it. No pun intended.

George Faller [00:13:38]:

No, I think the anticipation of your partner wants it, too. If you’re both anticipating it, so many men, it’s like you’re not in a mood, you’re just doing this. That anticipation frees both people up from that cycle. So you get a text from your partner saying, hey, I’m just thinking about your butt today. And all of a sudden your brain is like, oh, yeah, now let me shoot you back. Something I’m thinking about. And it’s like it’s priming both people to experience the encounter outside the routine, which is sometimes we can get stuck in these routines.

Laurie Watson [00:14:14]:

Yeah, I like what you’re saying. Meeting a partner who’s been anticipating you all day, that’s hot. That’s a great feeling, right? They want you, they’ve let you know. That is great.

George Faller [00:14:27]:

And we all want our partner to do it, but we don’t have to want to be the one who takes the risk. And we try to play it safe, but yeah, what this guy is saying is, yeah, put it out there. Process earlier to flirting. It’s a really good thing.

Laurie Watson [00:14:41]:

Yeah, flirting is so fun. Okay. Wonderland tea. OOH, their body is a wonderland. Communication on your wants, needs and desires. Also, listening to your partner on the same subject. This is a ringer, right? This is a foreplay listener. They clearly put this in there. Just wanting to advertise us.

George Faller [00:15:01]:


Laurie Watson [00:15:02]:

Communication on your wants, needs and desires. This is such vulnerability. I think this is the most vulnerable, intimate thing. I want to talk to you about something with EFT and therapy about this.

George Faller [00:15:15]:

Let’s do that.

Laurie Watson [00:15:16]:

Okay, we’ll come back. George, do you need luxury bedding?

George Faller [00:15:24]:

OOH, baby.

Laurie Watson [00:15:26]:

Cozy Earth has best selling bamboo sheets. And I love cotton. I love Egyptian cotton. And I didn’t believe anything could be this incredibly soft. But these bamboo sheets take it to another level. I’m telling you.

George Faller [00:15:40]:

Who don’t want to go to another level in?

Laurie Watson [00:15:43]:

And you know, Cozy Earth has like a bedding collection that has luxury pillows and sheets and blankets and more stuff. It’s so good. I just know. Get ahead of your spring cleaning here with fresh new bed linens from Cozy Earth because they are the highest quality fabric you will find on the market. And I’m serious about sheets. I have bought them for every bed in my house, even though my kids aren’t home. Any guest that comes is going to be treated to Cozy Earth sheets. Also, think about it. It’s a great gift for Mother’s Day. It’s just soft on your skin. It’s incredibly luxurious. So good.

George Faller [00:16:23]:

Cozy Earth provided an exclusive offer for our listeners today. Up to 35% off site wide when you use the code foreplay. F-O-R-E-P-L-A-Y.

Laurie Watson [00:16:35]:

Cozy Earth, get some soft sheets. Time to power up with Factor, america’s number one ready to eat meal kit.

George Faller [00:16:43]:

I love you. Can get good, healthy food in under two minutes.

Laurie Watson [00:16:48]:

I like it. I’ve been using the keto stuff because I try that to give up on carbs. Giving them up for know it’s. What to me as a busy person is so great. Is it’s fresh? It’s in my refrigerator. Two minutes later, I am eating.

George Faller [00:17:04]:

How about that? I want to cut back on Takeout get Factor instead.

Laurie Watson [00:17:08]:

Factor is cheaper than Takeout as well. Gee.

George Faller [00:17:11]:

And they got a lot of variety, right? Over 34 chef prepared meals weekly.

Laurie Watson [00:17:16]:

Yeah, exactly.

George Faller [00:17:17]:

Good options.

Laurie Watson [00:17:18]:

Exactly. You can get breakfast, egg bites, smoothies lunch, and dinner. You don’t have to plan everything. You just get to choose. You don’t have to grocery shop. You’re just done. Which is so good, it’s clean eating without a hassle.

George Faller [00:17:32]:

So imagine the old microwave Salisbury steaks, except healthy for you.

Laurie Watson [00:17:38]:

Exactly. So head to fourplay 50 and use the code fourplay 50 to get 50% off your first box.

George Faller [00:17:47]:

Almost giving them away for free. 50% off that’s code fourplay 50 at Fourplay 50, get 50% off your first box. So this is, again, the excitement being triggered by our listeners, right? The last comment around communication. The mission of this podcast, getting people to talk about it. We talk so much about best sex conversations and incorporating more and more into these conversations. The more we have to talk about, the better it is. So keep flying away, listeners. What do you got?

Laurie Watson [00:18:26]:

Yes. Okay. So Matt creative says, take your time, tease, and let the anticipation build. There it is again, that anticipation. But that word tease just tease alone. Don’t you think that’s like a sexy word?

George Faller [00:18:39]:

It’s a nice one.

Laurie Watson [00:18:40]:

It’s a good word. It is good word.

George Faller [00:18:42]:

Matt get you just try it today with your partner. Just throw that word tease out.

Laurie Watson [00:18:47]:

Oh, here’s a really good one. Dinzi Lindsay. Okay. Dinzi Lindsay. Great name. That’s kind of a sexy name too. Give yourself an alter ego for sex. Bring it out whenever you aren’t feeling confident or mean. That’s a role play. Right? That’s a way to say I have this sexual part of myself. Maybe I’m not as confident but in roleplay or my alter ego can kind of pretend to be something or be more aggressive or suggest things that I would not suggest in other times. Yeah, that is awesome idea.

George Faller [00:19:24]:

We’re a big fan of. Hopefully we’re demonstrating that too. Roleplays just trying things out. We know people change through the experience. You got to do something. It’s not enough just to talk. You got to put that talk into action.

Laurie Watson [00:19:38]:


George Faller [00:19:39]:

So having these role plays, trying on new things, stretching yourself, getting outside your comfort zone, that’s not going to happen on its own. And couples that set that up intentionally through roleplays I think is a great idea. I mean, I love when me and you are role playing. I get to be a sexual withdrawal. I get to be all these different people. And the more I can tap into that, the more I can kind of find those parts of myself and kind of learn how to bring them into my relationship.

Laurie Watson [00:20:06]:

Right. And I would say all of us kind of have all of this some of the time. There are times that certainly though I identify more as a sexual pursuer, there are times that I’m a sexual withdrawer. Maybe my feelings are so hurt I’m just turned off. All of us know and then we can have compassion for our partner who may be different or our friends or our clients. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. I like this faith fulfilling. Is it faithful fling? Full fling? Faithfuling. Okay. Faithfuling suggests role play dates. A faithful fling is the way to go. So this is they’re talking about have a fling with your partner. Right. That’s so sexy. I do think that when I talk to people who have affairs, they spend so much money and so much time setting up sexual encounters. I’m like, you know, if you’d spent 25% of that time and money and energy on your partner, you might have had the sex life that was worth having. But I do think one of my favorite ideas is to go meet your partner at a bar and have some drinks with them and pretend they’re a stranger and pick them up. I think that’s a really sexy idea, a really sexy role play. What would you say if you were new again and you didn’t know them so well and could they pick you up? Could they work hard enough to pick you up. I mean, all of that, I just think that’s really sexy.

George Faller [00:21:39]:

Again, another role play. People are bringing a lot of playfulness into these suggestions, right? They’re trying to invigorate with just some fresh energy. That energy. You have the best of both worlds when you have the safety of the person you love and you’re bringing in this fresh energy to kind of harness it. It’s really cool stuff.

Laurie Watson [00:21:59]:

Yes. Sarasourus Rec. That’s funny. That’s a good name. She must like dinosaurs. Shut off your thinking brain and just feel the sensations. You can tune into pleasure so much easier. She’s got it down. Yeah. That is so true. Especially the thinking critical brain, right, that is watching yourself. I’m not getting aroused. I’m not hot enough. Whatever that criticism is, turn that off and then turn into sensation.

George Faller [00:22:31]:

Or the distracted brain that’s still doing a laundry list of things, right?

Laurie Watson [00:22:35]:


George Faller [00:22:36]:

Turning that off and getting back into your body.

Laurie Watson [00:22:38]:

Do you think that men have a distracted brain as much I do?

George Faller [00:22:43]:

Testosterone helps.

Laurie Watson [00:22:45]:


George Faller [00:22:46]:

Helps to focus. But no, I think a lot of men, if they’re thinking about their performance, are they doing it right? Are they touching right, or is this the right time? Am I going too fast? Am I going too slow? All of that stuff is getting them out of the present moment, right? That’s anticipating the bad sense of anticipating. It’s anticipating threat. And then our body starts to have a threat response. So, again, a couple of our listeners ever saying the same thing, relax, let go. Surrender. Be part of something bigger than yourself. Your body knows what to do. Just give it a chance to do what it needs to do. That’s that surrendering. Really being in the present moment, that sex is mindfulness, right? Sex is about intentionally being in the present moment. You don’t get more in the present moment than being kind of connected to somebody else in the act of sex. So I think it’s, again, really nice advice.

Laurie Watson [00:23:44]:

Nice. Cab 2001. Cab 2001. It looks like a male, and he says, Motion of the ocean, baby. I get it. What do you get? I got that. That’s like intercourse when it’s really working and your hips are coming together in the right sort of way, and it’s, like, flowing. And that one got me.

George Faller [00:24:15]:

Well, how do you get the motion in the ocean if you need some feedback some of the time, right? I think everybody walks.

Laurie Watson [00:24:23]:

What feedback do men need? What are you saying?

George Faller [00:24:26]:

I’ve always heard that saying, it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion in the ocean. Right? That’s like a saying I’ve heard forever. And it’s like, I don’t know anybody having sex that doesn’t want to be in the motion in the ocean flowing like that. But how do you get there? How do you know you’re there? How do couples kind of make it easier to get back to that place. How does that become more of a marker? I know as a therapist, I’m always looking for physical markers, evidence in session that things are changing. I’m just trying to think out loud with you. How do we get some of that evidence that says no, that is the motion in the ocean? That is the very thing. Is it just an intuitive thing? Is it something that people it’s helpful to talk about with each other?

Laurie Watson [00:25:08]:

Oh, I think it’s helpful to talk about, absolutely. I mean, I hear men talk about that. They really like it when a woman kind of does a mini tuck and meets him when they’re having intercourse. Like, that pelvic tuck is really exciting to him because it hits him. And I hear women say different.

George Faller [00:25:26]:

Tucks up or tucks down?

Laurie Watson [00:25:28]:

A tuck up kind of it’s like an AB workout. You’re just pulling up a little bit.

George Faller [00:25:36]:

So when he’s thrusting in, she’s thrusting down. She’s thrusting up, thrusting up, thinking if.

Laurie Watson [00:25:44]:

He’S on top, and then she’s kind of tucking her pelvis toward him at the same moment that he’s hitting her inside, sort of the deepest part inside, and she tucks up. That’s a good, solid connection.

George Faller [00:25:58]:


Laurie Watson [00:25:59]:

Or I think for women and we’re just sex is bigger than intercourse, but we’re talking about intercourse right now. It could be many things. I mean, I think sometimes for a woman, it’s not faster, harder. It’s slower. It’s being able to feel. I mean, it could be anything, and it could be anything in any moment. But getting in the motion of the ocean, you got to talk about what you’re wanting right in that moment, like, slow down, baby, or give it to me hard, or whatever she’s got to say and he’s got to say, rock your pelvis toward me, or get on top and whatever it is that they want.

George Faller [00:26:36]:

I’ve never thought about that. I think people have always experienced in that flow state at different times, but not really sure what both were doing to get into that state, which then makes it harder to replicate it. So that communication again, it’s saying, actually, when I’m thrusting deep and your pelvic thrusting up, there’s something about the timing of that that’s really pretty damn special. That’s just good information. So I don’t know any couples that talk that specifically.

Laurie Watson [00:27:07]:

Okay, well, let’s have them do that. That’s your homework assignment. What do you like in actual intercourse? Like, what’s the motion of the ocean for you? And it could be lots of different things. We don’t want to limit you. We don’t want to say there’s one motion of the ocean, but maybe you could talk about, hey, this last time you did it, you were doing this. And I think angles are really important during sexual intercourse. I know for a lot of women, they can climax. Not a lot. 15, 18%. I think I just recently heard the news stat, 18% of women can climax through sexual intercourse, but they’re lining it up somehow. It’s like, are their legs open? Are their legs wrapped around his? What? What makes it so that she feels that deep connection? Or is it she’s on top and touching herself? Gosh, George. I had a guy friend once talk about his wife doing that. He was like that’s. So I’m like, what’s? That sounds really hot to me. Why are you thinking that’s so lame. He’s like, I should be enough. I’m like, oh, man, you are so ignorant. If your wife is willing to touch herself in front of you and while she’s on top of you having intercourse, it’s like, I think he should say what? Yahoo.

George Faller [00:28:27]:

It is. The single reason I am doing this podcast is when I heard that stat that 18% of women only have orgasm. I was like, what the hell is wrong with our culture that we’re not telling men and women this? That we’re putting all this pressure on an act that’s not going to lead to the thing that a lot of women are looking for? Men are expecting them to have her and feeling like they’re failing when they’re not, right? So, yes, to get just better information out there that says and that’s still hugely important to have intercourse. Right. But maybe something needs to happen afterwards or before or yes, if you could be stimulating your clitoris while you’re on top of your partner and you organize them that way together, I mean, why would you not do that?

Laurie Watson [00:29:10]:

Why would you not do that? Yeah, but obviously there’s ignorance out there. I think the culture says intercourse alone is how women climax. And if it doesn’t happen that way, you’re a failure. Or she’s a failure.

George Faller [00:29:24]:

Yeah, I always say this.

Laurie Watson [00:29:27]:

Women come in and they tell me, I ask them, do you have orgasms? They’re like, yeah, but not the real way. I’m like, oh, no, what do you think the real way is?

George Faller [00:29:36]:


Laurie Watson [00:29:37]:

So sad.

George Faller [00:29:38]:

I think how many years I did therapy, even if I would talk about sex, I would never ask, did you have orgasms? Right. And again, such an important question, because having sex without having orgasms training your body that sex doesn’t get the reward that it should lead to. Right? So we can do in a whole nother podcast on that, but just give yourself the best chance to have that.

Laurie Watson [00:30:03]:

So I’m going to tell one that I think I’ve told before, but it was a client who told me. And this was two decades ago, so last one here was she said she picked her husband up in a limo at the airport when he was returning. And she was a brunette and she was in a blonde wig. And I guess it was one of those limos that has the black glass or something in between the driver and her, and they had sex driving. Around the belt line. I was like, that is hot. I didn’t say that in session. I did not say that in session. But I was thinking, okay, you are seriously creative, girl.

George Faller [00:30:42]:

I love the creativity, and I think that’s the whole point of what I heard of so many of our listeners giving us feedback. They were all being creative in their own way. And when you’re being creative, you’re bringing that energy into the relationship, into the sexual encounter, and that’s what keeps it alive, whatever form it looks like. And it could look different for every person. You got to be creative. You got to stay engaged. You just can’t just go through the motions and take it for granted. It’s like anything else. You got to put the work in and the fun and the play and keep it hot, y’all.

Laurie Watson [00:31:13]:

Thanks for listening.

Joe Davis – Announcer [00:31:15]:

Call in your questions to the Foreplay Question voicemail dial eight three three my foreplay. That’s eight, three three my. The number four play, and we’ll use the questions for our mailbag episodes. All content is for entertainment purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for therapy by a licensed clinician or as medical advice from a doctor. This podcast is copyrighted by Foreplay Media.

Laurie Watson [00:31:40]:

Hey, guys.

Speaker Ads [00:31:40]:

I’m Natalie Pouche, and I’m the host of your new favorite podcast, humble and Hungry. It’s time to grab your cheese board and your favorite bottle of wine because we’re having a girls night, and we’re about to embark on a whole new journey as we juggle motherhood and blindfully navigating through our 30s. We’re talking life, drama, dating, and everything in between. I recommend listening to Humble and Hungry on the Iheart app on Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.