You are currently viewing Episode 428: How to Have a Sexy Marriage with Dr. Corey Allan
Episode 428: How to Have a Sexy Marriage with Dr. Corey Allan

Episode 428: How to Have a Sexy Marriage with Dr. Corey Allan

Welcome Foreplay listeners to a can’t miss episode with our friend and colleague Dr. Corey Allan co-host of Sexy Marriage Radio podcast. With over 13 million downloads Corey and his wife Pam, lead couples in deepening and improving conversation about physical intimacy and keeping your marriage sexy. While we are missing George today, we are over the moon to have Corey on as a guest. Are you afraid to let your partner in on your sexual longings? Maybe you know what you want but have no idea how to start the conversation, let alone contine it. Hear Laurie and Corey talk about the best ways to craft these conversations and speak to your partner in the most self-respecting way. How to recover quickly from disconnect to reconnect and kicking perfection out of the bedroom! This episode is filled with amazing gems on marriage that are sure to resonate. Make sure to give them a like and follow on IG @sexymarriageradio and visit their website at  for more information on course, coaching and retreats. George will be back with us next time as we continue working to keep it hot y’all! Like what we’re doing? We’d love to have you rate and review our show wherever you stream Foreplay.

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Show Notes

Dynamics of Attraction and Tension
– Laurie and Dr. Corey discuss how traits that attract us to our partner can become sources of tension.
– Exploring the paradox of wanting change while desiring a partner to stay independent.
Misconceptions About Fixing a Spouse
– Addressing the common misconception in relationship advice seeking: the idea of fixing one’s spouse.
– A personal story about a woman who experiences growth in her marriage through introspection. Personal Growth and Reactivity in Marriage
– The importance of focusing on personal growth and understanding one’s own reactivity.
– The challenge of expressing individual truth without eliciting defensive responses from a partner.
#### Sponsorship Ad Break
– Promotional ads for Cozy Earth and Uberlube during the intermission.
Communication and Self-Respect
– The discussion resumes with the importance of honest communication and maintaining self-respect while expressing personal truth within a relationship.
Defining a Vibrant Connection
– Dr. Corey Allan and Laurie Watson delve into what constitutes a vibrant connection in relationships.
– The value of being present, appreciating imperfections, and recovering from relationship disconnections.
Professional Training for Therapists
– George Faller and Laurie introduce innovative training courses aimed at therapists, providing practical tools and interactive learning experiences in the field of vulnerability and success in therapy.
Initiating Discussion About Sexual Needs
– How to initiate a self-respecting discussion on sexual needs within a relationship.
– Dr. Corey Allan offers insights into the context, timing, and the courage needed to start such conversations.
Articulating Desires and Maintaining Curiosity
– The struggle to articulate sexual desires while maintaining spontaneity and curiosity within the sexual aspect of a relationship.


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Joe Davis – Announcer [00:00:24]:
You the following content is not suitable for children.

Laurie Watson [00:00:31]:
Welcome to Sportplay sex therapy. I’m Dr. Laurie Watson, your sex therapist.

George Faller [00:00:35]:
And I’m George Faller, your couple’s therapist.

Laurie Watson [00:00:38]:
We are here to talk about sex.

George Faller [00:00:40]:
Our mission is to help couples talk about sex in ways that incorporate their body, their mind and their hearts.

Laurie Watson [00:00:48]:
And we have a little bit of fun doing it.

George Faller [00:00:50]:
Right, g listen, and let’s change some relationships.

Laurie Watson [00:00:53]:
Okay? Foreplay fan. I am so fortunate to have a friend and a colleague with me today, Dr. Corey Allen, who is a licensed marriage family therapist. He is the host, the co host with his wife Pam of sexy marriage radio. And you all have been doing it, I think, even longer than we have, right?

Dr. Corey Allan [00:01:13]:
Twelve years.

Laurie Watson [00:01:14]:
Twelve years. That’s phenomenal. Congratulations. And you can find him at SMRF FM. So he’s got all kinds of resources, classes and courses and things like that. He’s re releasing something called blow up my marriage. And so, I mean, this is a great resource. Corey and I have known each other now for, gosh, maybe five years.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:01:38]:
I think it’s been a, yeah, yeah.

Laurie Watson [00:01:40]:
We came on your show long ago and we’re so fortunate and you have been in the trenches. So I appreciate people who are sharing this space with us and George is not with us today, but who are sharing and Pam is not with us today, but who have shared the desire to really spread the word of how people can stay in particularly monogamous relationships and make them hot and good and the emotional, sexual issues that come up. And I’m glad that we’re together again talking about this.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:02:17]:
This will be a fun dialogue. It always is great to get with like mindedness.

Laurie Watson [00:02:21]:
Exactly. Okay. So one of the things that you and I kind of chatted about that as therapists we see is how we come across the same dynamic with a person that we love. And we’re kind of surprised by it. It’s like this thing that drives us crazy, this thing that maybe we keep hoping will go away, and then we get with our partner or our family member and there it is again. And we’re like, for some reason or another, we’re shocked at that. And I want to know, kind of from your perspective and what you see in therapy, how we deal with all this. Can you describe this dynamic for our listeners?

Dr. Corey Allan [00:03:03]:
Well, I think what comes to my mind with this, Laurie, is it’s the idea. Whatever, usually whatever draws us towards our mate are the things that will drive us crazy when we’re with them long term, because it’s that element of. I love their spontaneity, because I myself am much more of a structured list. This is the way I want life to unfold. And that spontaneity just creates this vibrancy and this energy. And then when I’m married to that person for 510 years, whatever it may be now, it’s driving me crazy. Like, why can’t you ever plan anything? You’re always springing things on me at the last moment. You never can sit still, all these kinds of things.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:03:50]:
And I think it’s this idea of, in some regards, it’s like we strive for completeness. If you think about it, the Jerry Maguire you complete me. That I am somehow insufficient in and of myself. I think there’s a natural tension that comes to play of just the way each person is quintessentially different and wired. And yet, what’s amazing to me, because I do this in my own life, too, and I’ve been married to my wife for 30 years, so this still plays out for sure in ours, where we have a pretty good idea who they are, but yet I’m surprised when they show up as they are.

Laurie Watson [00:04:31]:
Sure, it’s like those little grains of sand that we’re aware of when we first get together become kind of sandpaper over time, and they rub us the wrong way. And I think the good news is they can actually polish us, right? They can change us in ways that stretch us, make us patient. But like you said, the spontaneity that was so vibrant and seemingly life giving when we’re first connected also becomes closed, strewn all over the floor, because they’re running out the door to get to the next appointment, and they don’t have time to put it in the hamper. Or there’s little pieces of this part that we are endeared by that have difficulties. I think about women who are often so attracted to that strong, silent type male, and then suddenly they realize they’re married to a withdrawer who doesn’t open up about his emotions. And it’s like there’s this kind of shadow side to the attraction, but this part, too. Like, I need a lot more from you. And hence it all starts.

Laurie Watson [00:05:37]:
It all begins, right? The tension of I married you and I accepted this part. I might have even been attracted to it. But then suddenly I see the shadow in it, or the sand and the sandpaper starts to rub on me, and it’s like, not a good thing, right?

Dr. Corey Allan [00:05:52]:
Because I think a lot of times we come into this with this idea that, well, that’ll get better. It’ll change. I can change it. And maybe that’s not a conscious thought, but I think deep down, we think we have that much sway over our partner, because if you think about it, they chose me, so therefore, they’re going to be willing to adjust to what I want. Right. All the time.

Laurie Watson [00:06:13]:
That’s right. All the time.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:06:15]:
The problem becomes the same concept is going on in their mind. Exactly.

Laurie Watson [00:06:21]:
They’re wanting to change me, and I’m wanting to change them.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:06:24]:
They’ll give up the structure so we can live more spontaneously. Of course they will, because they chose me. I think this is just a natural dynamic that happens in a married life. Any committed relationship actually fits this characteristic as well. And so what I most often see is how it wreaks havoc when it really starts to infringe upon what makes me comfortable, the way I want life to actually be, the idealized distortion that we once had. And I’m not really looking at Life on life terms to see it as well of know, because this is the trap I see all the time, Laurie, is I want somebody to bow to my wishes, but I want them to be an independent person.

Laurie Watson [00:07:11]:
Oh, yeah. I want them to do what I want them to do, but I want them to have a spine so that.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:07:18]:
I can stand on their own 2ft and respect them, seek their own joys and pleasures in life, too. And it’s just this whole, as long.

Laurie Watson [00:07:27]:
As they’re completely available when I need them to be.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:07:31]:
Exactly. And so I think it’s that concept of most of the time, people come in and they find our show or me with this idea of secretly, you need to fix my spouse. That’s why I’m here. Give me the code.

Laurie Watson [00:07:47]:

Dr. Corey Allan [00:07:48]:
And deep down, one of my favorites is a woman that she actually works for me. Now, she said flat out, when I first found sexy marriage radio, I hated you because you were supposed to help my spouse, not me. And then it took a while where it’s like, okay, I got to just deal with me. And that’s the view I believe in, is that I think marriage is a full length mirror that exposes ourselves to ourselves and most of the time I get mad that my spouse brought a mirror to the equation.

Laurie Watson [00:08:20]:
Oh, that is so true. I mean, I think marriage is a growth experience. Right? It’s my growth experience. We want our partner to grow and change. That’s what we really want. But it turns out that the way we get that to happen is by increasing our own growth, managing our own reactivity, our own defense mechanisms instead of being reactive and in foreplay. We talk a lot about the cycle, the pursue, withdraw. And it’s not that I can’t have needs as a pursuer, it’s the way that I bring them with vulnerability instead of criticism or that I can’t do my own thing.

Laurie Watson [00:08:58]:
It’s that I also bring reassurance and comfort to my partner and telling them about what’s happening inside me so that they don’t start to wonder and get all freaked out about me going out into the garage or having a night out with the guys.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:09:14]:
Right. And so I think of this in terms of there’s just an exposure that happens and what I do with what’s exposed in me is the 95% of the work that needs to be done.

Laurie Watson [00:09:26]:

Dr. Corey Allan [00:09:27]:
Because I need to get cleaner in how I go after what I want and then handle whether or not I get it better. Because I think, true, if I want somebody that’s independent and stands on their own 2ft, then I’m going to get pushback. Even though I’m not going to like said pushback.

Laurie Watson [00:09:47]:
Yeah. I wanted somebody who had their own mind, but I wasn’t so sure I wanted them to give it to me.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:09:54]:
Or I want them to say it in a nice tone or use the appropriate timing. Well, life rarely works out that way in real time. We can have times where we’re very proactive, usually with the help of a coach or a therapist that I can kind of get a good way to massage a conversation and bring something up. Right. But all that does is get us started. Then we usually revert back to I was too harsh, my tone, I got dismissive, I got defensive, whatever. And so then it really starts to come down to this goes back to the way you started it at the beginning of I’m married to somebody, hypothetically speaking, that gets defensive. And yet when I bring up something difficult and they get defensive, why am I shocked that they’re defensive? I knew it going in.

Laurie Watson [00:10:41]:

Dr. Corey Allan [00:10:41]:
And so if I can untangle and untie my attachment to how they react and view it, as was I true to me and how I brought this forward, this is, in my experience with my wife, when it came to sexual overtures and bluntness about our sex lives and just sexuality and erotica and all the different things that happen in our erotic lives together, I was always too attached to her reaction when we first started our marriage. Right. It was very objectified. I’ll own it. It was very one sided. It was not sex worth having that I was inviting us towards. But looking back at it, it’s very clear she had the courage to actually say as much at one point, which is what shifted our dynamic quite a bit. But one of the things I recognized is when I’m too tied to her reaction, it limits what I express and who I am, and it doesn’t mean I’m ignorant to her reaction, but it does mean I had to learn the steps of, I would say something, I would make a gesture, I would do something.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:11:52]:
And that was a win in and of itself because I was expressing me and I was letting her feel me in that moment. And that’s a different dynamic.

Laurie Watson [00:12:01]:
Yeah. I think what you’re saying is important, that especially if we have tendencies toward being more naturally withdrawn, which is being afraid of conflict, it’s hard to bring out directly what we want and who we are because, yeah, we could get that defensive reaction. One problem in a relationship could be that we stop telling our truth because we’re so afraid of that conflict.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:12:31]:

Laurie Watson [00:12:31]:
And I probably would coach a person like, how do they say it? To get the best odds at their partner hearing it. How do they speak? From their need, from their vulnerability, which also is their want, in a way that, especially if they know this repetitive pattern of I generate defense. What we don’t want to do is shut down and say, okay, my truth isn’t worth telling, or my partner doesn’t want to hear my truth or something. I think what you’re saying is, even though there is conflict, as a maybe potentially more withdrawing person, I got to put it out there, and I think I spend my life coaching people. How do you put it out there? In a way, with the best odds at not generating that defense. Okay, so why don’t we come back from our break, and you can tell me if you want to pretend like this is how it would go, and I’m going to coach you. Ooh. Cozy Earth.

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Laurie Watson [00:15:32]:
Use the code foreplay for 10% off. Really, it is the best lubricant on the market. So, Corey, what you’re saying, right, is I have a sexual need about what I want to have happen, and I got to bring this to my wife. And if I don’t, I’m not going to have the sex life that is really exciting and meaningful to me. And so I’m all about that. I think you got to bring that up. But you have noticed a pattern of defensiveness. Like, every time you bring it up, there’s defensiveness.

Laurie Watson [00:16:06]:
Can you kind of tell me what you say and what it looks like on the other side?

Dr. Corey Allan [00:16:12]:
Well, I want to add a clarification, though, just real quick, Laurie, because this is what’s so fascinating, being two clinicians and professionals, because you’re describing, and I love the idea of how do I present something with the greatest likelihood it gets heard right. I’m going to come at it from a standpoint of how do I present something that’s the most self respecting way, and then secondarily hoping it gets heard.

Laurie Watson [00:16:38]:
Okay. You really want to tell your truth?

Dr. Corey Allan [00:16:43]:

Laurie Watson [00:16:43]:
That’s the biggest thing to me, the inside. Okay. So I want to hear how this goes. So I want to hear the self respecting way first.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:16:52]:

Laurie Watson [00:16:52]:
And let’s see what it sounds like and let’s see what happens inside your partner.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:16:59]:
Okay. So I think bringing it forward most of the time, and I would do some of the same kind of coaching you’re describing is context and timing matters because if I’ve made a move or an instigation and it didn’t go well, and now we’re both a little off or hurt, that’s not the time to unpack this.

Laurie Watson [00:17:15]:
Yeah. So this is not an initiation about what you want right now. This is a process conversation where you’re going to talk with your partner about what is really deeply, essentially you as a sexual being, a sexual creature, and what for you needs to happen. Okay, good.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:17:35]:
I like that. A lot of that would be something, I’m just going off the top of my head with this. That would be something akin to a vibrant sex life is of value to me, and I would love more availability from you. And just kind of. I’m given a framework of this is what I’m looking for. I don’t know how this is actually going to look, but this is what I’m looking for. Because a lot of times if I go from just my history, personally speaking, that would have taken tremendous courage even to just get to that point. I agree to say this is a need I really value, and I’m putting it out here to see what you do with it or don’t do.

Laurie Watson [00:18:19]:
Yeah. And I think what I love about what you just said and how you said it is you were really speaking about your need. You were saying, this is what I want. And I think what happens with sexual pursuers, which I’m going to class you that way, and there’s always exceptions, but as a sexual pursuer, sometimes with enough rejection or enough bad timing, incidences or things that are not working out, they kind of give up and they can become burned out. It’s like, well, forget it. I just married an ex partner. My partner is frigid. Or they start to make up in their head something.

Laurie Watson [00:18:57]:
And so they don’t bring this out. So I think the courage to bring it out is so important. And just what you said is actually it’s need based. Like, for me, I want a vibrant sex life. I want more availability from you. So if I were maybe a sexual withdrawal, hearing that as a partner. If I were triggered right, I could go into the view of myself, which says, oh, I’m not absolutely I’m not enough, and my pushback is going to be defensiveness.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:19:32]:

Laurie Watson [00:19:33]:
Okay, well, yeah, you always want that, but I’m just never enough, and you’re always complaining. And so I’m going to build a defense about that. But you started really not from a critical place. You were not critical of your partner. You were not saying that she wasn’t enough. You were talking about this ideal. This is what I want. This is what makes me happy, and I celebrate that.

Laurie Watson [00:20:00]:
I think that is great. If I were top of my game as a sexual, right. And try to remember, like sexual. Everybody listening. Sexual withdrawers don’t necessarily not like sex. Maybe they need sex differently. Maybe they need something different from their partner. So maybe I would say, okay, you said a vibrant sex life.

Laurie Watson [00:20:21]:
Corey, can you help me understand what that means to you a little bit more? Because that’s broad for me. And I don’t know, and I got to tell you, I feel a little anxious inside because I know we’ve had times that you’ve initiated things, and I’m just pretending I’m the partner, not your partner. But this is pretend. And so what would that look like? What does vibrant mean to you? So this is me getting a hold of myself. I’m not defensive. Now I’m curious, which the opposite of defensiveness is curiosity. When we are in a more secure place, we can attend to our partner with curiosity instead of our own protective move, which might be saying, my partner only wants what they want. They’re selfish.

Laurie Watson [00:21:12]:
And we have a negative view of the other, and we also have a negative view of the self, which is I’m not enough, but I might even feel those things inside. But I’m putting them on hold.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:21:23]:

Laurie Watson [00:21:24]:
Putting them on hold so that I can more further explore what this means. So what does vibrant look like?

Dr. Corey Allan [00:21:30]:
Well, so even kind of tracking what if you’re going from the best in yourself here? That reaction could possibly throw me off because the courage it took just to get to what I said first was all I was hoping to accomplish. And now all of a sudden, I’m invited into a dialogue that I got to define even more when maybe I don’t have it defined yet.

Laurie Watson [00:21:54]:
Yeah. And if you kind of are an emotional withdrawal, but sexual pursuer, you might not have language. You did the best you could. You might not have language to further describe vibrancy and availability. And you don’t want to nail it down. Because again, there’s this like, oh, I don’t.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:22:13]:
Well, then the trick becomes, how do I not define it from what it’s not.

Laurie Watson [00:22:19]:
Yeah, right.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:22:20]:
Because that would be so easy to do. It’s like, well, I don’t want to do a Sunday afternoon, 02:00 like we’ve always done, where it’s the same position, blah, blah. Because that is in that kind of availed. I’m critical. Yes, it is. It’s an undercurrent, sophisticated attack.

Laurie Watson [00:22:38]:

Joe Davis – Announcer [00:22:39]:

Laurie Watson [00:22:39]:
It’s the what I don’t want.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:22:41]:
Instead, to me, it would almost be from your response would almost then be, okay, well, I’m a little taken aback by your reaction right now. And I need to get a hold of myself to define what does vibrancy even mean? Because the initial thought is we’re both engaged and we’re both pursuing each other and what we both want. And so there’s maybe more vocal awareness and conversation and more you taking the reins at times in the build up towards and even during. Because I don’t know, in some regards, that’s really hard to quantify. But then again, maybe it’s not. I can still give a framework of.

Laurie Watson [00:23:26]:
I love what you’re struggling with here. I really do. What you’re struggling to define, because when I talk with sexual pursuers, so often they’re like, but if I lay it down, I still am limiting it. And my fantasy is unlimited. If I have to tell you, right, if I have to tell you exactly.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:23:46]:
When to do it and how, then what?

Laurie Watson [00:23:47]:
It’s not spontaneous. Right. And I do think that many times sexual pursuers, I think about the goose and the golden egg. They don’t want the golden egg. Which sex, I mean, they will take sex and they want sex, certainly, but they want the goose. They want the goose who lays the golden egg, who has desire, who has ideas, who will initiate occasionally, because why, and this is what I would ask you, what would it be like inside you? What would you say about us again, I’m pretending to be the partner. If you had that, what would it mean to you?

Dr. Corey Allan [00:24:29]:
Well, that’s a whole deeper connection to me. That’s the idea of, as I’m thinking this through, the way I could see it almost being defined as a vibrant connection is where we are following the connection better. We’re both present. And there’s times when you check out, I check out. Well, how do I check back in? And I think there’s just an element, I believe, with sexy marriage radio. The way I define great sex, Laurie, to the audience, is it’s two people that recover.

Laurie Watson [00:25:03]:
Well, yeah, exactly.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:25:05]:
Because you’re following a connection. You got a pattern going, and something happens, and, you know, because thoughts can become intrusive or a knock at the door or phone ring or it’s cold, or a lot of things distract us. Well, okay. Can you settle myself down and reconnect? That’s great sex.

Laurie Watson [00:25:24]:
Yeah, exactly. And I think so many people say that in different ways. And I think you’re saying it in the sexual realm, which is really important, is for you. You’re not expecting perfection. You get it that there’s going to be disconnections, which, as a sexual, perhaps withdrawing partner, that’s really good news. So you’re offering something really powerful in terms of, like, look it for me. If I had this, I would feel a deeper connection with you. That’s really what I’m after.

Laurie Watson [00:25:56]:
And I think so many sexual withdrawals. Hear, all you want is sex, but what your heart is longing for is this solid, deep connection where you’re wanted and wanting, and that is appreciated, celebrated, and it doesn’t even have to be perfect. It’s okay if we get off track because sometimes you may wander. Your mind may wander, or I may wander, but we’re going to get on track with each other because we know how to repair, right? Yeah. So I think what you’ve said is we’ve taken this conversation right from you, representing a truth. And I love the way you did it. You did it from a place of vulnerability, from want, need, desire, without criticism. And generally, maybe your partner would respond defensively this time, you get something new, which is curiosity.

Laurie Watson [00:26:48]:
It does kind of throw you for a loop. And I think if you haven’t actually articulated these things and maybe are afraid to articulate them, lest you limit. It’s. Right. Like when somebody asks you, okay, well, how much are you going to sell the car for? And you’re like, I’m really hesitant to say, I really want $1,000, because what if they offer $2,000? And I think in this negotiation, it’s kind of the same thing. I’m hesitant to say, this is what would make me happy, because what if my partner actually has this much capacity? I don’t want to limit, but let’s just say, I think what you did say, right. For me, it would be being present. And that is what the research says as well, Dr.

Laurie Watson [00:27:29]:
Allen, is that being present as lovers is optimal sex. When two people are present to each other, that’s one of the characteristics of that and this deep connection. Right? Even, I would say people talk about a spiritual connection, not necessarily even religious, but like that they feel one with their partner in their spirit and they have spiritually transcendent experiences. This is really big stuff, what you’ve asked for. And then your partner, in a curious response, elaborates that and then you have the grace to say, and baby, it doesn’t need to be perfect. If we get off track with each other, we’ll find our way back to each other. And so you did the perfect conversation.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:28:17]:
Isn’t that some of it almost imperative? Because if I’m looking for perfection from a partner, I’m also then demanding perfection of myself when maybe I don’t have a clear way to know what that even would be yet.

Laurie Watson [00:28:29]:
Right? So often we don’t. Corey, it’s been so good to have this conversation with you. You’ve brought another aspect of this importance of bringing forward the truth of what you want, the need and being courageous enough to put that out there. I think that is so important, especially for our withdrawing partners to put it out there like they can’t be shut down with rejection or whatever. Or if the negative cycle beats you down, you still got to come to that place and have the integrity to say, this is my truth, this is what I need from us. And the way you said it was so beautiful because it was without the push, without the anxiety, you just brought it as pure need, putting it out there. And that works. And so I just want all of you to be able to find sexy marriage radio on podcasts wherever they are found.

Laurie Watson [00:29:26]:
SMR FM is the way you access Dr. Corey Allen and Pam and all of their offerings, which includes lots of cool stuff, courses that you can work together. They’re online courses. Right. And Corey also does consulting therapy throughout the world so you can find him and get help from him. So I just encourage you to reach out to Dr. Allen at SMR FM, sexymarriageradio FM. And again, thank you so much for being our guest, bringing this important truth to us about the representation of the inner world and bringing that to your partner.

Laurie Watson [00:30:06]:
I appreciate that.

Dr. Corey Allan [00:30:08]:
Absolutely. It’s been fun. Thanks, Laurie.

Laurie Watson [00:30:10]:
Thanks for listening. Keep it hot, y’all. Okay, so tell us about your cutting edge training that you’re doing on success and vulnerability.

George Faller [00:30:18]:
Laurie. We just keep pushing it. Coming up with a new module on the playbook of a pursuer, playbook of a witcher, really practical, moment by moment moves of what a therapist can use. We’re so focused on what’s happening in session enough. There’s talk about theories and these global things I think most therapists are looking for. What do I do in this moment? Give me a tool, George. So that’s what we’re trying to do.

Laurie Watson [00:30:44]:
That’s awesome. I am so glad you guys are doing this work. I think it helps us be organized to see you do it. You do demos, you do explanations, teaching. It really is interactive, and I think that so many trainings that we sit through don’t give us an opportunity for that. So what you’re doing is really important.

George Faller [00:31:03]:
No, we try to emphasize the teach it, show it, do it model of learning. You need to have some ideas. So we try to teach those, and then we try to show what it looks like implementing those ideas. But most importantly, you now got to practice it. That’s how they become yours. And that’s what we want our listeners and watchers to do, is become their own moves.

Laurie Watson [00:31:22]:
Find George and his call in.

Joe Davis – Announcer [00:31:26]:
Your questions to the foreplay question. Voicemail, dial eight three three my foreplay. That’s eight three three my. The number four play. And we’ll use the questions for our mailbag episodes. All content is for entertainment purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for therapy by a licensed clinician or as medical advice from a doctor. This podcast is copyrighted by Foreplay media.